Normal is Boring

Neutral

                 

I don't feel anything.

I am on the edge of feeling either really sad or really happy.

Usually I feel more of a tug towards the sadness.

It's numbness.

A complete and utter lack of feeling alive.

Floating.

And nothing.

I yearn to feel something.

Anything.

But I'm scared.

Of...

Everything.

Of leaving.

Of being left.

Of disappearing.

I don't know what to do.

I can pull up the past and drown in it.

Or I can let myself be numb.

Or I can search for something to feel.

Hope.

Pain.

Loneliness.