Normal is Boring

I'm not tired at all

                 

I'm not tired at all.

I am fully awake. 

My phone is stowed away.

It is dark.

There are cars in the oncoming lane.

It is 10:30 at night.

By the time 10:35 hits I start shaking.

The chills come.
My entire body feels like someone's

trying to pull me up into the sky by my bones.

Should I just do it?

Curious.

I could just do it.

One flick of my wrists into that Suburban and boom!

My legs, which, are crossed on the seat, would immediately break.

My head would hit the steering wheel and split open

My seatbelt would choke me

And everything would go white.

Minutes later I would wake up and feel the pain envelope me like the sun earlier today.

And then the thoughts would start.

You deserve this.

You are a mess.

Nobody is going to even notice.

Blood would pour down my throat from biting through my tongue.

My windpipe would break from the seat belt.

My legs would be stuck underneath the steering wheel.

It is 10:36 and I watch the yellow and white lines restrain me from my thoughts.

5 miles at a time.
Breathing through each car passing by.

Thinking.

Someday...