Behind Brown Eyes (Phan)

Chapter 4

I began fiddling on my bed still waiting to see what Phil thought of the video, about me, about my personality, looks and so on. I was nervous. He probably thinks I'm whiny, un-creative, and unintelligent. Worst case scenarios flooded me and I was starting to feel light headed and tears form in my eyes. I laid back and knew that he wasn't going to like me, but I just had to remind myself that it's just another person. Just another person who doesn't like me.

But, he's not just another person, it's Phil. And that's why his opinion means so much to me. The only person who makes me smile in the world and him not liking me would pull me down under further then I've ever imagined.

The thoughts ran away as I closed my eyes and forgot about everything. The sleep overpowered the crying and I drifted off.

-

I woke by my phone beeping, my alarm. I got up and my laptop was near my head, my phone on top. I stopped the alarm and took a fast shower before throwing layers of clothes on and heading off to school. My phone was nearly dead since I hadn't bothered to charge it last night, but then again I haven't bothered to do anything before I fell asleep, it was unexpected and I lost a whole 10 hours that I could have used to be productive. Instead, I let sleep take over.

I wasn't against sleeping, I liked it, but I feel like I could be doing better stuff instead of laying in bed unconscious. I would usually get a lot of work done around 1-3:30am and then I would get back to whatever I was doing before like Twitter or Youtube.

It's not like I never fell asleep in class, it happened a few times but the teachers never seemed to notice and if they did they let me get away with it. Some of the teachers knew I was getting bullied, but they haven't bothered to tell anyone else, they would just give me a weak smile and ask how I was. I liked sleeping in class but I tried to not let it happen to often. I wouldn't want the teacher end up needing to contact my parents about my sleeping habits. I think we'd all hate that.

I was walking the same path to school with my headphones in, listening to some Fall Out Boy. I felt the cool breeze blow against my face, immediately sending shivers through my entire body. I gripped my backpack tighter and walk a bit quicker with my head done, watching my feet hit the pavement. Which reminded me, I needed to get new shoes, mine were a bit roughed up and dirty and you could tell I've had them for a while.

I looked up and the cold wind stabbed at my face like needles, I regretted that decision and kept my head done. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and I pulled my headphones out as I turned around to have the impact of someones fist connecting with my jaw.

-

I opened my eyes and feeling pain immediately and I noticed I was laying on the ground, with my books scattered all around me and my bag thrown in a shrub. I did my best to pick up some of my stuff without them blowing away and shoved them in my bag not caring if they get crumpled anymore. I reached for my phone in my back pocket to realize it was gone. I dropped my stuff and checked my hoodie pockets and nothing. I looked around the ground and couldn't find it anywhere, not in my backpack or near the shrub.

My anxiety got the best of me as I threw the rest of my books into my bag quickly forgetting about the letters (that were anonymously left in my locker the other day), and ran up and down the entire street looking for my phone. I looked underneath cars parked on the street and nothing, until I seen something light up near a sewer manhole.

Is that my phone?

I ran to it and it was completely cracked and chipped. The screen was lit up with a notification from AmazingPhil.

This is my phone.

I unlock it and run back to my bag while typing in the password 'muse'. How original right?