Behind Brown Eyes (Phan)

Chapter 6

I was a bit nervous to go back to school after being called by teachers and reading all the letters from my locker. Okay, nervous was an understatement. I was completely and utterly embarrassed... and nervous. But mostly embarrassed.

How am I suppose to act around Adam now? Does he expect me to fall in love with him? Does he expect me to see him differently? Doe he expect me to ask him out? Because I won't. I still see him as a friend. I mean, I'm not even gay for fucks sakes. I like one boy, one boy. That does not make me gay. If it even makes me bi. I'm not even sure if the whole "gay sex" thing is what I like.

I mean, I've had sex with a girl before and that was okay, no it was not "the best experience of my life" because it was the first and only time I've ever had sex and it was more awkward and funny that it was pleasurable and intimate. We were both laughing and it made me feel okay that it was nonetheless one of my - at the time - best friends, so it was awkward and funny for the both if us. I haven't seen her in what feels like forever because she moved away. I know that if we so see each other again we'd probably just laugh and hug. She was a great friend and I'll never forget her. 

I make it to school. Hiding between people, shoving through crowds and dodging a few stares, I finally find my locker. My stupid locker that has no meaningful stuff in it. Well, my posters are meaningful but I meant school wise like textbooks and old assignments and old lessons.

"Hey faggot, where's your friend today? Not here to save your ass, that's where!" He slams the locker door shut on my hip and I turn around to face him.

"What the fuck do you want?" I growl at him.

"Calm down bud, I'm just trying to have a little fun." He spits with venom while trying to pat my back.

"Fuck off." I shake out of his grip.

He takes both of my shoulders in his palms and shoves me back against the locker sending me death glares.

"Listen here punk, you don't fucking talk back to me. Understand?"

I stare at his eyes with pure hatred, I felt my body go hot with anger and sweat form at my forehead.

He pulls me forward to pushes me back hard against the locker. "I said, do you understand?"

"Just fuck off."

"You have a hard time listening don't you, faggot?"

"Guess what?"

His eyebrows come together and confusion radiates off his face.

"Im not gay." I feel a smirk form on my face.

"Of course you are, you little bitch! You stare at every single guy here! You drool watching the football team! You're always looking at boys!"

"You must watch me a lot, are you sure you're not gay? It seems to me you are. You're even pushing me up against a wall! Is that how you like it?"

Terror suddenly takes over his face.

"Because I'm not into that shit, sorry."

He lets go and walks away groaning loudly, punching a few lockers on the way. I smile to myself and notice the other guys are staring at me like I've just won something really amazing.

"Can I help you?" 

A few of them have smirks on their faces and come pat me on the shoulder or back and ruffle my hair.

I feel accomplished, but at the moment I'm wondering where the hell is Adam?

I take my bag and walk out to the cafeteria. I haven't seen Adam all day and I'm worried because Adam never misses school. I shrug it off knowing he'll most likely be here tomorrow.