Hate the Player and the Game

Epilouge

Epilogue

Damn,

So yeah, that's my fucking story. The story of how my scrawny ass went through trials and tribulations and ended up mixed into the game and holding it down on lock. My son, Careem Levonn Sheard Jr was born October 20'th, 2006. He looks just like Cruze with the soft, jet black hair, the nose, the mouth, and the ears, but he was Caramel like me and had my big chestnut eyes. Cruze fell in love with his baby boy the moment I pushed him out of my fat coochie. He was our million dollar baby. He was a baby that came from money and would always have money from generations to generations. We slowly built up a new empire, but we hardly made any moves. We got our asses up out of the business because we had more than enough money to do so. It was just always good to have protection in case we needed it. I had a dream family. I had it all and I was thankful for every bit of it. I started from the bottom and made my way up to the top, but I had to go through hard work to get here. Years had started to pass and now I'm twenty-eight with another baby on the way and my husband and three year old son still loving me. I hope my daughter will out a very respectable woman. I didn't want her to be like me. While my mother was pregnant with me, she hadn't thought of what she wanted for my future. She really didn't even care. I decided that, that was not how I was going to raise my daughter. I was going to care and love for both of my children the way I had never been when I was younger. I was going to give them better than I had. I was going to give them the love that I had never received as a young girl. I would kill somebody dead before they would take advantage of my daughter's heart and her body like mine had been, and this is a warning to any bitch that would ever try to play my son. Hustling and grinding for my children is not what I want for their futures.

I just had to tell my story to somebody. I had to tell it to somebody who would understand it. Somebody who would understand me. Somebody who would know where I'm coming from and take the time out to put their selves in my shoes. The game ain't nothing to mess with if you don't know what your getting yourself into. I hate when folks be like "Don't hate the player, hate the game" Well their wrong as shit. To me, it's all just emotions. If you play with somebodies money, your playing with their emotions. If someone hates you or seeks revenge on you, their emotions tell them to kill you. If someone likes you or even loves you, their emotions tell them to die hard for you. I know I would die hard like Bruce Willis for my children and for Cruze any day. The game taught me valuable lessons. Sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it. I hate it because sometimes you can't trust anyone. If you ever want to be in the business, trust no-fucking-body. I learned that one by experience. I just have to learn how to forgive and forget. I had to appreciate life for what it truly was.  "Look mommy". My two year old son said to me as he handed me a sea shell. I was on a big white boat sitting on the hood of it. 

"That's nice baby". I said to junior while rubbing my pregnant belly and smiling. I had on brown Louis Vuitton shades and a white bikini with a white robe on. I looked back at my husband who was driving the boat and laughing at something Ronnie said with a corona in his hand. I loved my baby. I just couldn't stop staring at him sometimes. The whole reason I live. The whole reason I breathe. Cruze caught me staring. We were in the Caribbean vacating. The water was beautiful and the sun beamed down on all of us as we sped through the waters in our boat. 

"Life is good"! Cruze shouted over the loud noise.

"I know das right". I said chuckling and looking up at the sun as we sped off into the sunlight. 

                Telling you my story and having Cruze help me by telling his part made me really open my eyes and see that I have allot of shit to be grateful for just when I thought that I had a shitty life. I wrote this book for all of my dead homies. So I'm warning you. If you're smart, you'll cherish my words.

      You better hate the player and most of all, hate the game because in the end, it'll take you nowhere, but counting paper,
in prison,
or six feet under........

                                                         For all of my friends.