Just One Of The Boys

What happens now?

Words were funneling out of my mouth pointlessly as I tried to convince Carter that KJ did not in fact have any feelings for me other than being my best friend. 

"he said he loved you." Carter points out. 

"and? He says that all the time, and it's NOT a big deal." I fight back. "Anyways, you're over reacting like you always do. Remember when you were saying Alex was a keeper, huh?"

"Well, he is a complete idiot." Carter shakes her head before walking around the counter with her breakfast and sitting down next to me. 

"What's this about someone being an idiot?" Tate walks into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. 

Carter and I look to each other before carter flips her head in Tate's directions and announced, "Alex"

Tate's head snapped in my direction, and he slowly stated, "What about him..."

"He decided to lead Lizzie on and then be like nah lets just be friends but make out and shit on the side." Carter continues much to my dismay. 

I hide my face behind my hands as Tate looks back to me. 

"I have the WORST luck with guys okay." I mumble in defense. 

"I'm sorry kid." he smiles meekily, "there's someone out there for you." 

"Talking about someone, how's Jace?" I turn to Carter with a smirk. 

"He's fine." She smirks back. 

Tate looks between the two of us in confusion and shakes his head before rummaging through the fridge for breakfast. 

I look back to Carter with an 'all knowing' look of: I-know-youre-not-just-friends-you-better-fess-up-now. 

"oh shut up." Carter sighs and rolls her eyes at me. 

I hear the door bell ring and get up to go answer it, expecting to see KJ.

I am instead greeted by a very upset looking brunette, that I do not want to see right now. 

"oh." Is all I can muster out. 

"hi." He says weakly. "could...can I come in."

I look to him in confusion wondering what the hell he could possibly want from me now. 

"fine."

We make our way into the kitchen and Carter and Tate look to me with question. they both make eye contact with each other before leaving the room alone to Alex and myself. Great.

I plop down on one of the chairs and Alex does the same. 

"so?" I question him, already annoyed at his presence. 

"Could you just let me explain?" 

"Explain what? How you don't know what you want and you've somehow managed to go back and forth while not taking into account any of my feelings?" I snap at him. 

His eyes flood with hurt, "I guess I deserved that." He runs a hand through his hair before looking up to me. 

"I...I guess, I don't know much right now. I'm confused and lost but I know a few things. And I just need you to hear me out okay?" He rushed out. 

I nod for him to continue and he look up to me, meeting my eyes, "I know I should have been there for you right after the accident. I know I was supposed to stay by your side while you were in the hospital...and I did for a little. But then, I...I got scared Liz. You're important to me , you've always been my best friend. You've been the person I can always turn to, the one I can say anything in front of. I don't know much Lizzie, but I know in the moments I was there, it was exactly where I was supposed to be. And in the moments I wasn't I knew I should have been by your side."

"You blindsided me. You blindsided me with your strength through it all, you seemed unfazed by the fact that everything had happened and I knew you were hurting, I could see it in your eyes...but you, you hid it from everyone. You even fooled yourself. But I was stupid enough to buy your lie and convince myself you didn't need me. I was in shock, and instead of manning up, I fell short. And I know I did and..."

"Alex..." I cut him off. 

"No, no let me finish." He shakes his head. My mind floods with questions and I can't seem to find answers to any of them. I could understand being scared and pulling back...but this, this went beyond that. I couldn't even think to be mad at him anymore, not with how broken he looked now, sitting in front of me. But I still couldn't understand what he was feeling or thinking. 

"Elizabeth, you'll always be my person. Even if I'm not yours anymore." He started back again catching my attention. "I pulled back, because all of the sudden you became more to me. More than one of us...more than just one of the guys." He paused letting out a sigh before running a shaky hand through his hair again. I couldn't help but slightly smile at his nervous habit. 

"I started getting protective of you around the guys and I couldn't explain it, not even to myself. And I kept pushing it aside again and again. Then on our trip, when I saw you asleep in the bed...I'd never noticed you to be so...so beautiful. I wouldn't dare wake you in such a state so I slept on the couch. And when you kissed me, it was like something I had been waiting for for so long and I hadn't even known I was. Then I went around and screwed everything up. I know when I showed up again I shouldn't have kissed you...I wasn't planning on it, believe me. But I saw your face and I just couldn't control myself anymore."

All of the sudden it started to make sense. The way he got when Luke would hug me, or any of the boys really. The way he was so caring on the trip, how worried he was over something so little. And even running away from when I was in the hospital, it all started to click. 

I knew now....

"Lizzie, since the day you punched me in Physics freshman year for that horrible joke." He laughs lightly, "I was just to stupid to realize it till now..." He paused and my heart stopped.

"I-"

************

ayyyy extra update woooo 

also how do we feel about emotional Alex??

Team KJ or Alex????

Happy Saturday loves! next update is next saturday, get excited!