Us | Completed |

chapter 46. Louis pov. part 2

And if it took so much as to break up with her to be happy, then I will.

I was thinking. Should I leave her for her to be happy? Or should I search how to make her happy? If I look it up that would be like cheating. And if I leave her we'll both be desperate for each other again. We'd be miserable. I love her, but I don't know what to do. She completes me. If I leave, I have no idea what to do.

I decide to check the internet first. If they have nothing... Its decided.

Now I know it'll kill us both, but if the internet has nothing then I don't know what else to do to make her happy.

I already feel bad. I regret searching the web because now I feel like I'm so terrible, I don't even know what to do to make my girl happy.

But if I find nothing. I can also wake up and ask her if she's happy with me.

I find nothing. All there is is just asking her out, and prom and circus and fair and carnival and amusment park and concerts and crap that we've already done.

This leaves one choice.

Actually it leaves two. A note saying I left. Or asking her if she's happy.

I know. I can mix them up! I'm not dumping her or anything. I hope I don't have to. But I'll just go to the nearest coffee shop in the morning.

When I wake up I'll get ready, write a note, leave it on her phone so she sees it, and leave.

The note will say 'hi. I feel like I haven't been treating you right. So if you're happy, call me and if not, text me. Don't feel bad. Don't call me just because you think it'll hurt. But please, tell me.'

I don't have the guts to do this to her face. And I don't have the guts to dump her. After all, we have been dating for 4 months and none of my others have been as happy as this one. I love her too damn much to leave her. She's beautiful, nice, shy, and I just can't live without those things.

{morning.}

I leave a note like the one I thought of yesterday. And I feel even worse.

1) because I left a fucking note saying that I love her but I'm thinking of leaving her.

2) because yesterday was just naps and things like 'movie marathons' when in reality, we really had nothing else to do but be lazy.

Why is life difficult? Why is it never perfect? Why do we all have to go through pain all the time? Why can't we just be like Prince Charming and Cinderella when they life happily ever after?

As I'm walking to Starbucks, I hear my phone ringing. I look at the ID to see Bristols name and picture on my screen. I answer nervously, scared of what she would say.

"Really? This is how you expect a happy relationship to be? To ask one another if we love us?! Is this some kind of a joke Louis?! I thought we were pretty cute! And I also thought this relationship would last. And I also though--"

"What?! What do you mean by 'thought it would last'?" I'm heartbroken.

"Lou.. I love you. I just... I can't do this if you want to ask me if I love you ok? I can't. I still wanna be friends though?" she says.

"Yah? Well fuck you! I just wanted to know if you were happy with me cause I know we haven't been going lots of places or anything. I wanted you to call me with respect and your wake up voice. Not the one you yell at me with!" I yell and a single tear slips out of my left eye, and it slipped down my cheek.

"Sorry." she says calmly.

"No. You aren't happy with me, so go find someone you are happy with." I hang up and slam the phone on the ground. The screen broke and the device split into two.

"SHIT!" I yell knowing that I just ended my happiness. I walk home drenched in tears. When I get there, Bristol is in the bathroom. I imagine crying, but I just grab a Wal-Mart bag to pack 1 or 2 pairs of clothes in for me to stay with Liam for a little bit.

I walk out and since I still love Bristol, I leave the car for her to use. And walk to Liams house 1 mile from here. Bristol could do it. She ran the 5k and won 1st place.

This is hard for me, but I wasn't turning back now.