Its been a week since the break up and I'm still torn with his words over the phone. The world to me, is a big blur right now.
Fuck you! I replay the words in my head and each time, more tears leave my eyes.
I know he came back, just not for me. And I know he left the car for me, I just don't leave because of my depression. I can't let anyone see me like this. I haven't showered since that morning, and I've been sleeping on the floor and couch. I take turns. One night it's the floor, then the couch. Its because I can't sleep without Louis there beside me.
And I know where he went. He walked 1 mile to Liams house. I don't understand why. He could've taken the car. And he could've rode my bike. What will he be like over tour? I'm always gonna be this depressed. I wonder about him...
It's just the fact that we broke up makes me want to throw up. I gag inside, but in reality.. I just cry until it's time for bed. I have very little food and water, and my head is always yelling at itself saying you idiot! Why did you have to yell at him the way you did?! I still love him. Does he? I understand he did it for my happiness but I was already happy.
The first day went like this:
I woke with the front door closing, and I look at the table. I slept for an hour. At first I didn't feel like looking at it, then my phone went off. I looked at my phone first, and seen a notification from instagram. Kristen posted a picture. When I'm finished on insta looking through all the pictures people posted, I read the note.
What? Why would he think I'm not happy this is the happiest I've ever been in my life! I call him. But not because I want to still be with him, even though I do, I call him for a different reason. To ask him what's going on. To ask him why he would think such things.
{after phone call.}
I'm depressed now. I can't breath. Very little oxygen enters, and much of it leaves. My heart hurts and I completely regret yelling at him, and telling him I can't continue if he asks me if I love him.
No. I hear the door open and I rush towards the bathroom crying, in hopes that he wouldn't see me. He didn't. But some part of me... Wished he did.
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Us | Completed |
FanfictionBristol is a young 20 year old with a big heart. As she was walking across the street, she discovers a really handsome, British band mate named Louis William Tomlinson. Then her whole life changed. But will Aiden, her ex get in the way of everything...
