E.X.ing (Luhan Fanfic)

Loving

"Han, we didn't loss the baby, right?"

Silence, Luhan just stares at her, he barely feels his heartbeat because of this shock. His lips numb, causing him to loss all his words. The good thing comes to him because she finally remembers, she gets back her memories. But then the good was followed by the bad ones. The sad memories come along and they attack her without mercy.

Actually, she is still confused about herself. She is not sure about herself. The memories just come and all attack her at once. She awares, she remembers anything but she feels like she miss something. She remembers about the accident but she doesn't know why she was here, all fine.

"Han" She calls his name gently but it fulls of sadness. Slowly she looks down to her tummy and strokes it. It turns flat once again, no baby bump anymore.

"Hey" She talks to her tummy. Firstly, she acts calmly like nothing happened, but right after she says her sorry to the baby, tears start streaming down her face.

"Xian" He whispers her name, feeling all the pain that breaks him into pieces. Softly, he touches her hand, holding it tight. But she flinches, looking at him with her blank stare. Her eyes have no light, they are in a pitch black.

"It's my fault, right?" She asks him with her cracking voice.

"No" He immediately talks but she sobs harder this time.

"All is my fault" She screams out loud, looking so depressed. Luhan just pulls her into his embrace without saying a thing, stroking her hair softly to comfort her. He keeps convincing her if it wasn't her fault.

"It's my fault" That's the only thing comes out from her lips. This situation is really far from what he thought. He thought she will blame at him, mad at him, and leave him alone. But this is the opposite, she keeps blaming on herself, she looks so broke and lost. Now what should he do? He really is scared, what if he couldn't help her to recover from this heart break?

***

She looks so tired. Her eyes closed and she sleeps soundly on his embrace. Softly Luhan pushes her bangs aside and caresses her cheek softly. He feels so worry about her because she said nothing but "It's my fault". What if she kept blaming herself for the rest of her life? It makes him scared.

"It's not your fault baby" He whispers as he places a kiss on her forehead.

Now he thinks about her. It's easier if she was blaming at him, he could try to gain her trust back, he could be a better man to her. But now, she's blaming at herself, noone could safe her except her own self. This is hard, he has no idea what should he do to make her safe herself from this. All he could do is stay beside her, helping her to trust herself once again.

"Let's go through this together, I promise I will stay with you, I promise I won't hurt you anymore" He says his promise, feeling sorry because she needs to experience this. He knows, if he treated her well, all of this didn't need to happen. He want to compensate everything.

***

Luhan feels so empty right now. He doesn't know why these things happen in his life, why must him? Lixian is up already, but she refuses to talk. No words come out from her lips. She just sits on the bed, staring blankly at spaces with her empty gaze. She is alive but her soul is somewhere else. She is lifeless.

It's not just for one day or two, she keeps going like that, refusing to eat and drink. Luhan needs to force her to eat or else she will never eat. This is frustrating for Luhan, he keeps calling the doctor to come, just to give her a vitamin injection. After days pass, he asks the doctor to infuse her.