E.X.ing (Luhan Fanfic)

Distracting

Early in the morning, Lixian wakes up from her sleep, feeling so warm around Luhan's embrace. This should be the best feeling ever, but this morning, everything is so different. Eventhough it feels warm outside, but inside, it feels really cold. The coldness starts freezing her heart, until she couldn't feel her heart beat. So empty.

Slowly, she gets off from the bed and walks to the bathroom. The missing of her presence suddenly wakes Luhan up. He stares at her back without saying a thing and sighs hard when she disappears to the bathroom. He doesn't know what will he say to her. Last night he made his mind to tell her the truth but it obviously will hurt her. He falls into the dilemma, into a deep confusion.

Luhan waits for Lixian to finish her bath, thinking about the explanation. But as he thinks more about it, he falls deeper into the depression. He really wants to end all of this, but he never find a way to end it. It's frustrating, leading him into craziness.

"Fuck" He curses lowly, more to himself, as he ruffles his own hair. Then suddenly the click from the door distracts him, he immediately turns his face, looking straight to Lixian.

"Xian" He whispers as he walks closer. His hand reaches out to touch her, but she takes a step back.

"Wash up first, we need to return to Shanghai" She talks but her eyes look around, avoiding his eyes. She really doesn't want to talk it now, she's still not ready.

"I will wait you outside" She continues and walks away from him.

Right after she gets out from his bedroom, she puts her palms on her chest, feeling the heartbeat of herself, so fast. This really breaks her heart, she was glancing at him before and the look on his eyes, telling her everything. He's broken.

***

The breakfast is too quiet, too awkward. Noone eats the food, they just touch it with the chopsticks, they're busy with their own thought. This silence is killing them, suffocating them.

"Lixian" Finally Luhan starts it.

"Hm?" She hums but still, her eyes avoid his. Watching her like this, Luhan feels so hopeless. Suddenly he stands up from his seat, grabbing her wrist softly. This immediately makes her look at him. Their eyes meet and in a moment, Lixian's heart skips a beat. His eyes reflect pain, his dark orbs suck her up, forcing her to experience his pain.

"I have too many things to explain, come with me" He talks, his eyes plead to her.

She says nothing but she stands up and looks up at him. Nodding to him as an agreement, she follows him to his room. His hand wraps around hers, holding it tightly, like he's scared to lose her. In reality, yes, he is so scared to lose her, because when he loses her, he loses the meaning of life.

"Will you listen to me?" Luhan talks right after he shuts the door. She just gives him a little nod and lifts her chin up, staring into his eyes. She will listen to him, not with her ears but with her heart, she will find out, not through his words but through his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was so careless, everything just happened and I couldn't help myself" He starts, his voice trembles. Lixian just starts listening to him, but her heart already feels the pain.

"She put something to my coffee, and right after that, I lost my consciousness-----" He pauses and stares deep into her eyes, she shows no emotion.

"-----You know what happened next, right?" He continues as he bites his lips. He, himself, couldn't say it out loud, because it will break him apart. In the other hand, she just stares blankly, but she clenches her fist. She feels so mad and sad at the same time. If Jia is infront of her, she will definitely choke Jia to death.