"Deena, it's your mum- she's in hospital."
Marlon came back from the hospital.
I was just sitting with Adam in the living room tryin not to seem nervous.
He looked at me and sat opposite me and Adam.
"Adam, could you give me and Deena a minute please," he said.
Adam looked at me and then kissed my cheek. Then he went upstairs.
"Is she ok,"i asked.
"Deena, your mum had a bit of an accident," he said.
"Oh my gosh," i said, "is she dead."
"No," he said, "but Deena, I need you to promise not to do anything too rash when i tell you this yeah?"
I started to cry.
"Your mum had a miscarriage," he said.
"What."
He looked at me and said, "She was in the car when it happened." I didnt even know what to say, I just felt shocked like i wasnt hearing what he was saying.
"Is she ok," i asked.
"Yeah she is, she's at Barnet hospital,"
"Who's with her?", i asked.
"Her boyfriend."
"Sorry what?". What the hell was this guy telling me, i was proper shocked.
"She hasnt got a man," i said.
"I don't know if maybe she hasnt told you, but she has,".
I got up and shook my head, "i dont wanna see her," i said.
"Deena, shes your mum, shes just lost a baby," he said.
"If she couldnt even tell me she had a man, then i dont need to go and see her, her man can look after her."
"Deena how can you say this, shes your mum." he said.
"She wasnt thinking aboutbeing a mum when she was always at work taking the money my dad sent to me," i said, "you dont know about all these fings marlon, im grateful for you letting me stay here, i really am but i cant see her."
"She says she wants to see you, shes upset," Marlon said.
"Marlon," i said, "I cant."
"Ok," he said, "Im going back there now, do you know your grandmas number in Barbados."
I shook my head, "She moved back there recently, i dont know, but here's the number for my Uncle Jason's mum, she can tell my nan."
I gave him the number and he said, "When you're ready to see her let me know yeah, i dontknow what she did to you, but she's still your mum."
Then he left.
Adam came downstairs and i started cryin.
He held me in his arms, "you ok,"
I couldnt stop bawlin. I felt sick, i had cried so many times recently and i was getting sick of it.
"She had a miscarriage," i said.
"Did you know she was pregnant," he asked.
I shook my head.
I ran up to the toilet and just vomited.
Adam stood behind me and held my hair back.
"You finished," he said gently.
I kept vomiting.
