Finding The Other Half

Chapter - 11: Chicks Before Dicks, Wasn't It?

Author's Note:

This is a really short dedicated chapter for AlfeeyaPathan cuz you KNOW why. ;-)

Warning: The chapter may contain triggers for suicidal tendencies and self harming.

Love,
Smriti<3

Jade's P.O.V.:

Numb. That's all I feel. But numbness ain't even a feeling, is it? It's been two days since I saw that doctor's mouth frame those dreadful words into those sentences. What's the use of working in a fancy hospital if you can't even fucking deliver a news like with caution?

I could've saved her. I really could've. Only if I wasn't all gooey-eyed over Armaan. Chicks before dicks, that's what we'd say always. Yet, I lost my best friend all because of a guy. All because of this motherfucking asshole who knew nothing better than fucking around, literally.

Why would she just do this? She had great parents, an annoying sister who still cared for her and so many more people who loved her. She said it herself that no guy is worth her life. Why would she even think of it then?

I guess because she didn't have me right at the moment when she needed me the most. She didn't deserve that. She deserved so much more. I could've saved her. But I didn't.

She thought she could lean on me whenever needed but I had to prove her wrong. My mom keeps telling me it was not my fault. But what she doesn't know is that I saw her crying during the ball and, like the bitch I am, I ignored her. She would be awake right now if I had talked to her about it right then. I would not have to talk about my girl in the past tense. She wouldn't be in past tense if only I had been the person she took me to be.

I told her I would always be there for her, anytime 25/8. But I failed. We had planned to haunt people together in our afterlife. But now she's alone, probably on the other side, all because of me. I hope she says Hello. I wouldn't mind living with a ghost. It would be better than permanently losing my best-friend.

The movies and books describe the feeling of loss as painful. But it's not. I rather feel the pain than this sinking numbness. It is terrifying. Even any form of physical pain will do. Anything but this numbness.
I should've been the one to be comatose, not her. She had her life planned ahead while I couldn't even decide what to have for breakfast. She had a promising bright future which is dimmed now, because of me. It is all my fault. I think I know what I need to do.
I am responsible for her state.
I think I know what I wanna do.