The Cliche One Direction Fan Fictions

#throwbackthursday

Hola, mi amigos. I'm not even Spanish. I don't even know if I spelled that right. But you get my point. Today's topics include showering. Intense details. I'm just kidding. But seriously, we will be talking about showering. I know I already talked about it in past chapters, but today is a special day! IT'S THROWBACK THURSDAY BITCHESSS! I'll be bringing back what I've talked about from before. Hopefully funnier.

-Story 1

I angrily shut my alarm clock off. I stripped (A/N I find the word stripped really weird) and took a quick shower
washing my hair, shaving my legs, and lathering my body with my coconut body wash. Afterwards, I straightened my hair, brushed my teeth, put on my high-waist shorts & a crop top, and applied light makeup. I opened my room door and the sweet scent of blueberry pancakes hit my nostrils. I ate and still had time to walk to school.
-End of story 1

HOLD THE FUCK UP BITCH.

You had time to do all that shit, and it takes me 15 minutes ALONE to pick out an outfit.

I wanna hit that bitch in the nostrils.

I'm in the eighth grade and you think my momma makes me breakfast?

Aw hell naw.

The most I get is eggs on a school day. If I'm lucky. And why do they always smell like coconut? Pick something else for once.

Do they even KNOW how much of a pain in the butt it is to straighten wet hair? Just straightening my hair in general takes AT LEAST thirty minutes. In order for me to do all that stuff that she did, I'd have to wake up a 3:30.

Also, do you know how HARD it is to pull off a crop too? It's like going to a beach and trying not to get sand on your feet.

It's a fail.

Not every girl in the world has a flat stomach, also. Like me for example, I don't have a flat stomach. If I were to wear a crop top, I'd look like Honey Boo Boo. No lie.

Since I mentioned flat stomachs, I'm also going to mention exercising. Yup, something I dread. I enjoy GYM Aka PE, though. A lot of girls in fan fictions dread gym, but they're fit. Would someone care to explain that to me?

Anyone?

Also, in a lot of fan fictions, the girls can sing. I sound like a retarded seal when I'm singing. No, scratch that, I sound like a retarded, DYING, seal. That sounds better.

These girls in fan fictions do not understand how lucky they are. I don't know if I'm the only one that does this, but when I go through One Direction pictures, I'm like: "Yup. I'm gonna die alone. No one's gonna be at my deathbed."

And these girls are like all depressed and crying 24/7. Just stfu. If I had any member of 1D. Hell, if I even had Loki, I'd be happy.

~How Even....

Now this bitch can NEVER do her homework and still get accepted into the best university out there! What the hell? I'm in damn middle school and I do my homework every single day.

The main character is too busy crying on her gay best friends shoulder rather than actually GOING to school! Again, what the hell. And why does the best friend always have to be gay. Typical white girls.....

"omg leeyum hugged another girl im just gonna run awai frum him and cryyyyy!1!1!1!1! -.- :'("

AND I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE PUT SMILEY FACES IN THEIR BOOKS BECAUSE I HAVE. It was absolutely horrific. Who in their right minds writes like that? Remember that you're writing for actual PEOPLE. Not a damn robot.

~Kidnapping

Now.

Why. The. Fuck. Would. One. Direction. Kidnap. You.

One Direction can get all the bitches they want in a split second. But they decide to kidnap to adolescent girl? What are the chances of that happening....

And why would they even do that?!

I've read some of those fan fictions, and they seriously gave me a headache of bad grammar, horrible plots, and conflicts in the story.

In the book, Niall was all like "Oh we kidnapped her because she's actually my stepsister and she gets abused at home! We had to save her! So we just kidnapped her rather than actually telling her hehehehahahahah!1!1111"

Shut the fuck up you lil shit or I'm going to jump in that fan fiction and beat the ever living crap out of you.

~"I HATE THEM!!!!!"

"oMg i haaatteeee wun durrecyion omgggfffgfjsksjsjndkxjdbd y does1t hav 2 b me that thir in <3 wittt!?!?!?!1!11!??1"

Quote:

"Oh my gosh. I hate One Direction. Oh my gosh. Why does it have to be me they're in love with?"

(If you didn't know what it said.)

Anyway! If you wanna be a lil unappreciated shit then I'll take your place for you. The nerve of some people...

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm describing what the main character in the story and what always happens.

She hates One Direction. But Louis ends up falling in love with her! Now that she got to know them she fell in love with 2/5 member of One Direction.

Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.

[Story 2]

"Harreh! I'm a tomboy and you're a Harry! We'd never work together!"

"bby no plzz bby im in love wit you and all yo little things" *kisses each scar on her forearm*

"UGH YOU RAPIST WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE! I H8 U!" [she says as she runs across the street without looking both ways and gets run over by a car then gets into a coma then forgets harreh and all his little things the end that is all]

[Story 2 Ended]

Awesome story! Round of applause for that one! Sarcasm*

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End of the chapter guys! I hope I didn't offend anyone in any way at all. This is supposed to make people laugh and if I hurt your feelings in any way it isn't intentional and I'm sorry. :)

I hope it was a good chapter! I really do! I don't know if you guys want me to do another Throwback Thursday kind of thing. But if you think it's a good idea leave a comment or message me! :)

The next chapter, I will be talking about the Vampire version of One Direction Fan Fictions! I think it'll be fun for you guys to read and me to write. :D

Now off I go!