Abused//L.H. COMPLETE

Ch 39

Dear Officer Ramirez, 

           Very glad to have seen your e-mail when I did. Thank you for informing me with this information. I will surely come in tomorrow. Is 11:00AM sound okay. Let me know as quickly as you can so that we can adjust if in need of a time change, other wise, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Thank you, Amanda.

~~~~~~

I decide to reply with a very mature sounding e-mail. I've never felt like such an adult before now, I mean I've never really been an adult before now, but you know what I mean. As I'm sitting on Luke's left side, he sets his left hand on my thigh, right above my knee. Needless to say if feels good for a boy to touch me that way, I've never had experience with boys before. All anyone from my school can remember is that when I was in grade school I was a happy child until one day my mom left and I became the weird, quiet, shy kid. Ever since that day I've gotten slim to none attention from the male species. Luke's the only potential boyfriend  I've ever had. Well actually that's a lie. So everyone has those petty long distance internet loves with a person they hardly know and the person hardly knows you, but that's sorta the point ya know. Yeah I had one of those, I didn't tell him about my family until about a month of dating and after I told him, he got scared away and stopped talking to me, I don't really blame him though. Like what boy wants to date a girl that he can't ever meet her family because their dad might beat the both of you up straight when you walk in. Anyways, the point is, I'm not sure if I'm ready to get serious with Luke yet. I mean he was my first kiss, and that's sad, I've never done anything else with a boy. 

I let his hand stay, I mean its not that high up my leg and I'm just over thinking things. I think Luke notices that I've been sitting there awkwardly thinking for like 5 solid minutes, he speaks up, "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." 

Everyone at the table is having small talk so no one is focused into our conversation. 

"Is my hand okay there?" He asks for assurance. I'm guessing he knows that I'm not used to this kind of attention which makes this situation even more depressing. 

"Yeah." I say trying to play it cool. 

"Mandy, if its ever not just let me know okay?" 

"Okay." I say almost crying because he's being so cute and generous, I'm not very used to generosity.

We all continue to eat in peace. Addy comes up to my chair an sits on her hind legs and does the puppy begging. I always fall for dog begging, its just so cute that I can't help myself and have to feed them. I stand up, Luke's hand falls off my leg, I totally for got it was there. As I go to her dog bowl to feed her, Addy gets excited and runs after me. I made a pact to myself to not feed her human food more than three times a week and I've already reached my limit. I scoop some dog food out of the bag and pour it into the bowl. The foul smell of meats and vegetables and the 'dog food smell' fill my nose. I walk away from her and let her eat, I get back to the table to finish eating. 

~~~~~~

As we all finish more conversation arises. Soon the apartment is loud with laughter and socializing. I've always loved the sound of socializing and conversing. It just makes me feel human and alive. Dumb right? As I talk to my peers, I get a chill, I get a weird chill when I talk to people and feel as if I fit in, Its a soothing chill, not a creepy cold one. 

After I finish, I feel its my job as I live here to clean up after everyone. I walk around the tables picking up everyone's plates, I throw them away then grab for the dish rag as I see people head for the couch. I wipe down the table and then dry it. I then head to my room to lay down and relax. 

I walk into to my room and collapse onto my bed. My back muscles automatically sink into the bed, they hurt a little as they shift in place. I look over to my vanity to find the business card that I got from the lady at the restaurant. 

Tracy Scott Modeling... There's a website, a number, and an email. I type in the website onto my phone. A really well put together website pops up with girls modeling for Victoria's Secret, PacSun, Tillys and other places. I guess they get them jobs? As a kid I has always heard of Barbizon and the radio saying they were taking auditions for Disney shows and I was always jealous of the kids able to do those because I had wanted to do them so badly. But now that a modeling company wants me, I'm not so sure. plus the tour. As much as I want to spend time with Luke, I don't want to spend six months on a smelly bus with nine boys and us three girls. Honestly, I need time to get used to life, to a normal life.

Honestly, If I'm being one hundred percent honest, I don't want to go on the tour. I'm happy to hear I am able to go, like as an option but I don't want to go but I don't have the heart to tell Luke, or Meghan. Not at all. I'd rather stay home, with Addy get used to life without my dad, and get a job. Its so much more realistic, a tour, right after what I've gone through just isn't productive. 

I need to tell Luke....

But how?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

GUYS! 

I CAN FEEL THIS BOOK COMING TO AN END AND A SECOND ONE COMING!!!!!! IM SCARED FR HER CHOICE. I HOPE ITS THE RIGHT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! GOODNIGHT OR GOODMORNING OR GOODAFTERNOON OR GOOD DAY 

COMMENT YOUR PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!! I LOVE READING ALL COMMENTS

THANK YA BIYA

~RANA<3