Abused//L.H. COMPLETE

Ch 44

Guys!!! So I went to the 5SOS concert last night (8/22/16) and it was soooo good! the boys were beautiful and I cried when they came out. and in girls talk boys when Luke says "Sweetheart" at the beginning I get weak and in that song when Luke sings "'Cause I've been talking to my friends The way you take away my breath It's something bigger than myself It's something I don't understand, no, no I know we're young and people change And we may never feel the same So baby, tell me what you say " HALLEIGHLOUSAA!!!

OKay heres the book ily 5sos

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 I stand up and wrap my arms around Lukes neck. He doesn't understand how much this means to me. 

"Thank you." I say.

"You deserve it." He says and kisses my forehead. "The tour bus is out front because we are starting to pack, come sit and talk with me." He says grabbing my hand gently. 

"Okay." I say with a nervous smile on my face. 

"I'll be back." I say to Meghan as I get up and leave with Luke. Meghan waves us off.

Lukes fingers are intertwined with mine as we leave our apartment. "So what do you want to talk about?" I ask feeling a pit of nervousness in the bottom of my stomach.

"The tour." He says sounding just as nervous as I am.

"What about it?" I ask even more nervous. Luke opens the buildings door and holds it for us. He's trying to hold off the conversation and I don't know why but I don't like it. "Luke." I say. He continues to hold it off until we are in the bus, alone. "Luke, what is it." I say my voice trembling so fast that Luke takes notice.

"I don't want to lose you." 

My stomach drops all the way to my ass and my heart goes right along with it and I can feel it shattering into a billion little microscopic sized pieces. 

"W-what." My words blurt out in a stutter. Does he think he's going to lose me.

"I really like you Aman--" I cut him off.

"Luke, if you really like me then distance shouldn't do us any harm." I say.

"No, its not that. I just don't know if I can go a whole year without seeing you, or holding you, and we only have three days left, almost two. Amanda I've never been into a girl as much as I'm into you, and I'm not ready to let go of you for so long." 

By then my eyes are spilling tears. I'm not sure if its because Luke's leaving or because his sweet words. 

"Come here." Luke says hugging me. He leads me over to the tour buses bunks and we both climb up into his and manage to fit. 

"I'm sorry." I say. I'm causing Luke all this pain. Part of me says to just suck it up and go with him, but the other part of me says that I need to do whats best for me, and right now I think that's the modeling job. 

"Don't be." He says. "I want you to come with me, but I also want you to be able to do what you want to do in life and there is no way that I'm holding you back from that." 

"What if," I say "What if I stay here for six months and for the next six months, I come with you guys, and finish the tour off?" I ask not being able to decide if its a good idea or a stupid one. 

"That could work. Can we do that please?" Luke asks making me smile.

"Definitely." I say scooting closer to him to cuddle him, Luke smiles a cute smile at me. "You smell," I say being funny. "You need a shower." I say. 

~~~~~~~~~

"Let me just tell you," I tell Amanda.

"What?" She smiles wide at me. The boys all went out to have a 'band dinner' and to finish packing and for some reason Meghan and I aren't too sad anymore. She decided to do the same thing I am, except shes taking basic college classes at a community college, and then will take a break in between year one and year two and then after the tour she'll go back to school.

"Shower sex..." I say. "Is the best sex I've ever had." I say laughing because I've only ever had sex like 4 times. Twice with Luke and twice with this boy in high school, but I only did it to take a load off. Meghan laughs at me.

"I bet it is," She says. "Ashton and I will have to try it sometime." She blurts out making me laugh. 

"Lets go out to dinner." I say. "Then we can come back and have a Amanda and Meghan traditional sleepover. Then we can look at a school for you and I'll call the modeling company." I suggest. I miss our old times together before things got chaotic with the boys.

"Okay good idea." she says, "but where?" She asks. 

"I've never been to The Cheesecake factory?" I say but also asking at the same time.

"Lets do it." She says. 

My mom has been super busy lately with work, but she bought me this cute romper and I think I'll wear it tonight. I put the dress on and do my hair and makeup. 

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AYYY LMAO DAT BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

^^^ tbh idek

~RAiN DrAiN