Dead Man Walking (Glanny Fic)

Chapter 12

When I wake up, he's still there. My hand is clasped in his and he's softly running his thumb over my wrist. My heart flutters with happiness and I open my eyes to speak to him...

But he isn't alone. Madison is there, and she does not look pleased. I close my eyes again, so they don't know that I can hear them.

“What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed!”

“Everything was fine.”

“He escaped from his room, Glen! He was outside, unsupervised! You have no idea what could have happened.”

“I had to go and get him. There was no time to get anyone else. I had no choice.”

“But you should have! It was completely unreasonable of you!”

“He wasn't going to hurt me.”

“How do you know that? How could you possibly know that?”

“Because it was the old Danny!” His voice raises slightly and I feel the air in the room thicken with intensity. His hand has tightened on mine. He's angry. “I looked out of my window and saw him. And yes, he looked like he was his other self. When I ran out to get him, I didn't even think about it. I knew I had to go and get him. I'll admit, I was terrified. But then I got there, and he was laughing. Laughing and spinning! I saw the old Danny back, the one I miss so much. How could you expect me to just leave him there while I went to get someone else? I had to take the chance while I could."

I hear her sigh.

“You're right,” she finally says. “You're right. But you need to be careful around him. He isn't the same man that you fell in love with, Glen.”

Did she just say...

“But he could be. I saw him last night. He could come out soon. He could...”

“What you saw was just a fleeting moment. A break in his mentality. Danny is dangerous. His mind is fractured. He can't control his emotions. You can't just assume that because you saw him one way that he's going to stay that way.”

“But you didn't see him! You didn't see how he was acting! He was the way he used to be! The Danny that I...I...”

“Glen, you can't let your love for him blind what you know is true.”

“But he's getting better! He is getting better!”

“Yes. He is making progress. But he's far from better. He could still snap at any moment. He still hasn't got the control we need to let him out of here.”

“He listened to me! I told him to follow me and he did! I'm helping him!”

“Yes, Glen. You being here is doing the world of good for him. But we can't let that influence us into letting him out there. He needs to stay here."

There's silence, painful silence. I'm trying to piece all the information that I've heard together. Glen loves me? That can't be true...

“I'm sorry, Glen,” I hear Madison say eventually. “I know how hard this is for you. Watching the person you love in such a state is something I can't even begin to imagine. But you can't let that get in the way of what's in his best interest.”

“I don't know how much longer I can do this.” His voice is so broken, so small. Tears prick my eyes as the words tug at my heartstrings.

“I know.”

“I just want to be with him."

“You are with him.”

“No I'm not! I'm here, but I'm not with him. I have to walk away from him every night, leaving him in this shitty little room or knowing he's stuck in confinement. I can't ever be alone with him or tell him how I feel because it might break him.”

“You can tell him how you feel, Glen. You just choose not to.”

“How can I tell him those things when we're surrounded by bodyguards?” he snarls. “It's something that should be done in private. But we can't ever have 'private'.”

“Why didn't you tell him last night, Glen? You were alone last night, and you didn't tell him.”

He doesn't answer. The silence is killing me. Please, Glen. Why didn't you tell me?

“I was going to,” he says shakily. “But he started talking about being sick and unfixable. I couldn't tell him then. I want it to be special. I want it to be a moment neither of us ever forget. But I don't know how much he remembers nowadays.”

“Since the blackout, I don't think Danny has forgotten anything he's said or done. He just has no control over his actions. Half of the time, he doesn't mean what he says.”

“But he says that he loves me. Every time I see him, he tells me those three words. And I know he really doesn't. It's just his illness.”

My heart rips in two as I try to control myself. I can't let them know I'm awake. But he doesn't believe in me. That's information that I didn't want to hear.

“I'm pretty certain that love is the one emotion that he understands. Have you noticed how he only says it when he's happy or come down from an episode?” He doesn't say anything, so she goes on. “I don't think that he understands the concept of love when he gets into that state. All he concentrates on is hurting the closest person to him. And you know that you're usually the trigger. That can only suggest that he feels such a strong emotion when it comes to you that it completely overwhelms him.”

“Couldn't it be hate? And that he's just confused.”

“No. If he truly hated you, he wouldn't look at you the way he does. He wouldn't defend you when you're not there. He wouldn't feel so threatened when you fight back. The emotion he feels is definitely not hate, Glen.”

There's a brief moment of silence before I hear Madison get up and leave the room. So it's just me and Glen now.

I could open my eyes. Tell him that I've heard every word he said. Take him into my arms and hold him and never let him go. Tell him just how much I love him...

But I don't. I just lie here like the coward I am.

I feel him bring my hand up to his face and I hold my breath. He places a faint kiss on my knuckles and I feel the burning on his tears on my skin. Oh Glen...

“Oh Danny,” he whispers. “I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. I wish I could tell you. But I'm a coward and can only tell you when you sleep. If only you knew. Maybe it would help you get better. But I love you. I love you so damn much.”

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A/N - WAH! He said it! I'm back to my old squishy self for a whole chapter! Well, no. There's going to be a few good, relatively squishy chapters coming up now. And there's going to be a new twist in the next chapter too. I'm still in shock at the love I'm getting for this story. I just...I can't even...Thank you. Just...thank you. Vote, comment, do your thing.

I'm also officially releasing that contest that I was thinking of doing. I've already had a fantastic entry, so here we go:

I would like to know how you interpret Glen in this story. How he's coping, or what's going on in his head. I was always thinking of writing from Glen's POV but I like writing for Danny too much. So here's your chance! It can be relating to ANY chapter from the story so far, and can either be a diary entry or a conversation with Mark or anything at all. I'm really intrigued to know your views. So what you can do is upload it as 'Dead Man Walking Contest' or 'EmieFaun Contest' or something like that and PM me the link or post it here and I will read it, put it in a special place and give an epic shoutout to everyone who is interested in taking part in it. I'm not really sure how long to hold it for...maybe a week? So yeah. Decided. A week today, I will close it and do the shoutouts. Yes. Okay. Done.

Much love guys! x