I'm back in the glass room and I'm shaking like a leaf. I haven't seen Mark since...I can't bring myself to remember. I pushed his feelings aside because my 'other side' came out. I need to make it up to him.
So when he walks through the door, I don't get excited. I don't get agitated. I let him come over to the table and sit down. When I look at him, he's on edge. I know he doesn't really want to be here. And I suppose I don't blame him. But I'm going to prove to him today what I'm prepared to do.
He can't even look at me right now. My best friend can't even look me in the eye. That hurts more than you can possibly imagine.
“Hey,” I say. I don't expect him to answer. So when he doesn't, it comes as no surprise. “I know...I know how fucked up this is. How fucked up I am. But I want you to know that I'm going to change. I'm going to get better.”
He sits in silence for a while. I try reading his face, but I can't. I used to be able to read him like a book. Has it really been that long that I've lost that ability?
Eventually, he shakes his head. He's laughing. Not a happy laugh either. The kind of laugh that says 'yeah, right, fuck you'. It makes my heart drop.
“How can I believe that, Danny?” he asks coldly. “You always say you're going to get better. You're going to get out of here. You don't mean it when you lose it. And I always fall for it. Every single time. And when you take a million steps back, it breaks my heart. I'm numb and it's all your fault. And now you're asking me to believe you this time? What's so different this time?”
“I have a reason to live.”
“Oh yeah? And what's that, Dan?”
“Glen loves me.”
His eyes shoot up. Now I can read him. He knew. I smile kindly at him.
“I take it you knew?” He swallows nervously. “It's okay. I'm not pissed. In fact, it explains a lot.”
“What d'you mean?”
“Why you're so mad at me. You're the one who has to deal with the brunt of it. I had no idea how selfish I was being. How selfish I probably still will be.” I take a deep breath. “But Glen loves me. And I love him. And now that I can tell him that...maybe this part of me will go away.”
“It's not that easy, Dan.” His voice is kind. He isn't angry any more.
“I know.”
“Glen can't see you like that any more. He just can't, Dan. It kills him.”
“I know. That's why I need your help.”
“What can I do, Dan? I can barely look you in the eye any more without wanting to break down into tears Seeing you in this fucking place...I'm not going to be any good.”
“I have a plan, Mark. A really fucking good one. One that will mean that you can look at me without seeing this awful side of me.”
“What is it?”
“I'm getting out of here.”
His mouth drops open and I grin. His head shakes back and forth, disbelief rendering him silent for a good few seconds. When he finally comes to his sense, he looks around in panic.
“You can't really think that's going to work,” he whispers, leaning towards me. “It's insane, Dan!”
“It'll work.”
“Have you even thought about the consequences? What it would mean for everybody involved?”
“I have a way out.”
“But where would you go?! Everyone knows what's going on with you, Danny! They know where you are! It would be all over the news if you left without permission!”
“I have a place to stay. Madison knows this place...”
“Madison's in on this too?” he hisses, falling back in his chair. “Sweet Jesus, Daniel! You can't do this! You need to be here...”
“No, Mark,” I say firmly. “I have been here over a year now. What good has it done for me? Nothing. I'm still as fucked up as when I got here. This place is doing nothing to help me. But you, and Madison, and Glen...you are what will help me. And it's not as if my plan is just to run out the door! I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid!”
“What is it then?"
“Madison is going to say that she thinks that it's best that I transfer to another location. A more confined environment so that my outbursts don't disturb other people. But what's actually happening is that she is moving me to a small house in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere that I can't hurt anyone. I won't know where I am, so I won't be able to run away. And Madison will be there to keep an eye on me for when I have my outbursts. But in essence, I'll be free. And I can get better. I promise you I will get better.”
“Danny...”
“Please, Mark,” I beg. “Please. I know this will help me. And if I'm away from these people, I can be with Glen. Please.” Tears stream down my face. “Please, Mark. I need him. I need to be with him.”
I see his brain whirring. Oh God, please change your mind. Please, Mark. Eventually, he sighs.
“Alright. Let's do this.”
*******************
A/N - Hey guys! I promised you a second chapter, so here it is! No one actually got it right, so sadly I cannot dedicate this chapter to anyone. But well done for trying, and they were good answers! Thank you so much for reading and voting and commenting and just everything. Also, I've had 2 entries to my little contest thingy that you can find on the chapter before the last one (Chapter 12 I believe) so if you're interested, I would love to read your take on Glen. Vote, comment, do your thing. Much love x
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Dead Man Walking (Glanny Fic)
FanfictionHe's lost his way. He can't find his way back. Violence and cruelty rule his life, and Danny O'Donoghue doesn't know whether he can ever go back to the way he used to be. Half of the time, he loves this new person that he's become. But the part of h...
