Time Will Tell [Frank Iero][2]

Part 15

My body was relaxed as I lay on the couch just staring at the black TV screen. I had been lying here like this since I woke up this morning. I haven't had coffee and I still haven't eaten and it was now around 10:30am. I had woken up at 7 o'clock, not being able to fall asleep again after my dream.

"Are you okay?"

Gerard's voice rang out around the room and it almost hurt my head to hear as I looked up at him threw hazy eyes. I think I was trying to smile, but it came out looking like a grimace.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I tried to sit up, but gave up after a minute, my head starting to hurt.

"Because you look like you want die and everyone is worried," He sat down next to me and rubbed my back. I guess he too assumed that everything was alright.

"Oh," Was all I said.

Gerard stood. "Let me make you some coffee."

I stayed in the same position until I felt Gerard sit down next to me again. I finally sat up and took the piping hot cup of coffee from his outstretched hand. I sipped on it a little, but couldn't really drink it yet. I looked up to see Gerard studying my face.

"You're not okay Lenny. I know when you're okay and now is not one of those times," He looked serious. "I thought you were doing better."

"Gerard, I don't want to talk about it," I turned away from him.

"Why not?"

"Because its just-"

"Is it because you think I'll tell Frank," He looked kind of mad. "Because you know I would never do that unless you wanted me to."

I nodded my head slowly. "I know that."

"Then what is it?" He asked softly.

I took a second to collect my thoughts before answering him. "I can't stop dreaming about that night and my mind is just making it out to be so much worse."

He was quiet and I looked up at him to see that he was in deep thought, but when he looked at me again, his expression told me to continue.

"Ever since the prank war ended, I can't get it out of my head. It's all I think about, all the time and how much I don't feel like I deserve what I have in my life-"

"How could you say something like that?"

"That's just how I feel. It's eating away at me Gerard," I shook my head with a shrug. "I don't know what to do and I cant tell Frank because he'll just get really worried and I don't want him to be..."

I trailed off at the end and just sat there quietly. I wanted Gerard to say something. I wanted him to tell me that he could make all the bad dreams go away. That he could make me forget that, that night ever happened. All I wanted was to forget.

"You deserve everything you have, Lennox," He paused. "I have no way of stopping the dreams, but maybe during the day we can do things that will help distract you for a while."

"Yeah," I nodded. "For a while."

He sighed and grabbed my shoulder. "Don't worry Lenny, we'll figure something out to help you."

"Why does Lennox need help?"

We both turned to see Frank standing in the kitchen area looking quite confused.

"Sh- she just needs help with..." Gerard looked flustered, having trouble coming up with an excuse.

"Its nothing Frankie," I tried to smile. "I'm fine."

He gave me a worried look, but dropped the subject, knowing that if he started something it might turn into a fight. I knew he would bring it up later, he was just that kind of guy. But I didn't know if I was actually going to tell him what was going on... or if I was going to lie.