Do I have to?

Chapter 31

Maggie's p.o.v

I woke up crying, for no reason. I'm trying to stay positive but it's so hard and I don't want to go to back to being depressed, because people treat me so more differently and it took forever for things to go back to normal after everything was fine. I'd say I was fine but I'm not actually or I'd say I'm fine and they people wouldn't believe me and would comfort me.

I'm going through this phase of being bipolar (happy at a moment of time and than sad the next minute) and depressed. I shouldn't cry because I have fans, friends and someone who means so much to me, Brandon.

Jess walked inside my room. "Hey, oh my gosh Maggie what's wrong" she asked at rushed over and sit at the side of my bed.

"Nothing, I'm fine" I cried even harder. "Maggie, please I wanna help you" she said. I laid down and faced the opposite side of Jess.

"Could you leave, I just wanna be alone" I asked. "But Maggie" she said. "No Jess I'm not in mood" I said. She than walked away. I feel so bad, that's all she wants to do for me, help, and I push her away.

I sat up and decided to make a younow. "Guys" I cried and wiped away my tears. "I just have to say something, I'm not the one to know how to deal with things and I'm not always sure how to handle it or deal with it. Like I understand that's a normal thing for most people to get hate, but someone explain to me what it does for you after bashing someone. I'm sorry for everything I did, but i don't deserve this to the point where I just wanna kill myself and self harm. I'm done talking like if you guys don't care about me, I don't expect you to" I said and ended the view.

There was only 2k people watching. I got a text from mark (duhitsmark).

Mark: Hey I just seen your younow
Maggie: Ugh you did
Mark: Do you wanna talk about it with me
Maggie: Honestly I don't, it hurts way to much
Mark: It'll get even worse unless you talk about it
Maggie: Okay well I can't take all this hate it's to much for me and I don't know how to make it all stop and everything or anything I do will make it worse and who would understand. Jess no because she's just a perfect bitch!
Mark: I get hate, Brandon, hunter, Jacob, Cameron and even Jess anyone you name I'm friends with. It's a normal thing and it'll only continue if you show it, yes at first it's hard but it does get easier
Maggie: Thankyou so much for caring
Mark: Anytime. Do you wanna hang out today
Maggie: Ya sure what should we do!
Mark: If you're hungry we could go to jack in the box or in n out or that cool restaurant that opened
Maggie: lets go to the restaurant!
Mark: Alright I'll pick you up

All of a sudden I was happy again, he didn't even have to say much to convince me that everything will be okay and that it's common.

I went inside the washroom,. Took a shower in steaming hot water, just the way I like it. Washed my hair and body and got out.

Today I felt like doing makeup, like full on. So I started with my foundation, than concealer, mascara, light eyeshadow, eyeliner and than I baked my face. If you don't know what that means you better get out from under that rock! While my face was being baked I did some contour.

I guess you could say I really caked my face. But it looked really good.

I finished my look. I looked in the mirror, I liked it. This is my second time actually doing this. Usually I just put on foundation, concealer, mascara and eyeliner also highlight.

I walked downstairs and got myself some diabetic cereal, that's what my mom calls frosten flakes because of all the sugar it has.