Arrange Marriage: Destined?

40: This Is It

"I love you with all my heart but I am too afraid to admit it."

What?  What did she say?! 

ALDEN sat up quickly upon hearing the words she said. He heard it clearly, he knows he did, but he wanted to make sure she said what she said. He walked towards her, although couldn't see her expressions because she's facing the other side of the room, he's hoping it she wasn't talking in her sleep. His heart beat so fast to the thought of Maine may have change her mind and would chose to take him back. At such times like this, where his mind is only reminding his heart to calm down and be careful. He can not simply advance into a war of love without a shield, without ammunition, without... oh screw what he doesn't have.

Maine can not deny her ultimate loneliness caused by herself suppressing such true feelings . There's no denying that she loves him and he loves her. The trouble is, they both knew they loved each other, but they rather rely their decision to one person and in this case, no one wants to decide.

"Maine, I know you are awake. I know you can hear me and you know I heard what you said." He uttered while sitting on the chair next to the bed. He stretched his arm and draw little circles on Maine's back with his finger.

"Love, I heard you said you love me. It was really a puzzle for me for a while why we do what we do. Why can't you tell me what you really feel? Can we be open to each other?" Alden continued to speak, more like mumbling out loud.

Alden started to tell how he felt for Maine since their accidental meeting almost six years ago. He was telling her how attractive she was wearing a simple shirt and a ripped jeans. The second accidental meeting two years ago and it was followed a few times.

"Did you know that from the start I can not take you off my mind? My heart, from the beginning knew you it wants, it insisted to not forget you and since that day I fell in love with you unknowingly, and it kept growing everyday. Since my heart do not want to forget about you, my mind carved your name and permanently lived in there." He said without realizing that he did.

She turned around on her side and faced him. There's that hint of smile trying to escape from her lips. As she was turning around, she was somewhat surprised to see him that close to her face. Alden held her hand and kiss it. That gave her the warmth she's been missing, that she's been longing for, she's finally at home. She pulled Alden's hand closer to her and kissed it, too. Alden felt the electricity run through it and shoots down his spine. The overwhelming feeling and emotion and sensation are definitely present at the moment.

"Maine, why are you so afraid to show how you feel? Is my love not enough to make you feel secure?" Alden asked her lovingly rubbing her head with one hand.

"The truth is, your love is more than enough. It's my feeling towards you that is making me frightful to give it all. I don't know why but it makes me hesitant about it." Maine said with all the honesty on her voice. Alden looked into her eyes and for the first time he can actually read what it says. what message she's trying to convey but can not express verbally.

"Maine, I love you so much that I don't know how to function without you in my life." He said and gave her a quick soft kiss on her lips which sends shiver down her spine. This is the feeling she's actually afraid of. What if she can not mirror Alden's love for her? What if he realizes that she's not equally capable of loving him the way he loves her? What if she failed him? What if she fails herself? What if she could not measure up to his expectations? What if...

"Maine, I don't care if you love me a little less than I do you, it's not who is greater and who is lesser, I just wanted to know if you love me not how much you love me. I will accept it as long as there's a little love in your heart for me." He lovingly whispered to her. Maine closed her eyes and swallowed what seems to be blocking her throat before she could speaks.