Meizen ≫ the 100

18

the whole first half of this chapter got deleted while i was trying to edit it so i give up on editing and i'm sorry this rewrite is going to be lame because i don't feel like rewriting it tbh

//

kodie walked aimlessly through the woods for awhile longer before she decided to make her way towards camp. branches snapped and leaves crunched around her, but she figured it was just the wind or an animal because if it were grounders she wouldn't probably been dead by now.

"kodie!" raven's voice caught the girl's attention and she turned to see raven and bellamy holding myles up and octavia was stood next to her brother. myles had his arms draped over each of their shoulders. "what the hell happened?" her eyes trailed down to myles' leg and they widened at the arrow in it. "oh my, okay."

"they took clarke and finn." bellamy states. "and monty's gone too."

"what the hell did i miss?" kodie threw her hands up.

"well what the hell are you doing out here?" bellamy asks. "we said to be back by nightfall."

"i had to do something." kodie crosses her arms over her chest.

"raven. octavia." bellamy says, keeping his eyes locked on kodie. "do you think you can take myles back? we're not that far. kodie and i need to have a talk."

"we got it." octavia nods before draping myles' arm around her shoulders and the two girls drug myles towards camp. bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, mocking kodie, and stood a good distance away from the blue eyed girl.

"can i help you?" kodie raises an eyebrow. "because if not i'd like to go back to camp. murphy's probably waiting for me."

he shakes his head. "murphy this." he waved around one hand. "murphy that." he waved around the other one. "i'm sick of hearing about murphy. everyone talks about him. he should be killed. he should stay alive. we need him. we don't need him. it's a never ending cycle and i'm tired of it."

"i'm sorry that i actually like murphy. he's cool and he's nice to me because i'm nice to him. i enjoy his company and our talks because he doesn't bitch at me for pointless shit."

"so when were you gonna tell me you helped my sister get lincoln out?" he changes the subject.

"i didn't think it mattered. i have nothing to say to you."

"so he didn't turn his back on you. my sister punched you. this whole plan worked exactly how you wanted it to up until the point where finn decided to set up a meeting with the grounders." he stepped closer. "my sister hugged the grounder and that's when i knew you two set it up."

"yeah well it's over with, okay?" she turns around to head back to camp.

bellamy grabs her arm and pulls her to face him again. "i'm not done talking to you."

"good for you." she snaps. "but i'm done talking to you."

"you've been a pain in my ass since the moment i met you." he glares.

"congrats." she responds dryly. "i could say the same about you." she finally ripped her arm from his grip and pushed at his chest. "but if we're gonna sit here and bash on each other then let me begin." she pushes his chest again. "you're a shitty leader." push. "a shitty brother." push. "and a shitty person." one last push and his back hit a tree. "you're such an asshole, bellamy."

"thank you for stating the fucking obvious, kodie." bellamy responds sarcastically. "i know i'm an asshole and i don't care."

"i should've just stayed with lincoln." kodie shook her head, taking a step back from bellamy. "i could've been a grounder. i could've—"

"you wouldn't have seen your friends again." bellamy cuts her off. "you wouldn't have seen finn or raven again." he eyes her and she runs her fingers through her hair and looks at the ground. "you wouldn't have met jasper or monty or octavia." he pauses. "you wouldn't have met murphy."

"i wouldn't have met you." she states.

bellamy bites his bottom lip, "yeah."

she clenched her jaw, "that would be great." a silence fell between them and kodie looked at the ground, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "i can't do this anymore. i'm a fucking kid for christ sake. i shouldn't be getting ready for a fucking war."

"kodie—"

"shut up!" she snaps, glaring at him with watery eyes. "i tried, okay? i tried to be tough. i tried to be strong. i tried to be enough. i can't. i can't do anything. i'm done trying. i'm just ready to end it all." she took a deep breath. "i was so scared that i was gonna die when i got infected, but then i realised i wasn't scared of dying. i was just scared of the pain. the amount of blood i was coughing up."

"you're enough, kodie." bellamy grips the shorter girl's jacket and flips their positions around so that she was pressed against the tree. "you're not dying." he states. "you're going to survive."

she stared into his eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. "i don't want to."

he stepped away from her and shook his head in frustration before punching the tree, right about her head. "remember when i wanted to leave? i wanted to run away from all my problems, but you wouldn't let me? you told me to stay for you." she didn't respond as she stared at the ground in shock. "guess what?" he holds his arms out. "i did." a light laugh falls from his lips. "and now i'm asking you to stay for me." he stepped towards her again. "i know you hate me, but i sure as hell hated you when you asked me to stay."

a sigh left kodie's lips as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "i don't hate you."

bellamy laughed. "that's a good lie, kodie, but save the humour for after we win this war." he grips the girl's biceps and looks her in the eye. "we will win."

she shrugs her shoulders as she grew tired from holding back tears. "i already lost."

a frown formed on bellamy's face and he pulled her into a hug. "let's get back to camp." he tried to pull away, but kodie remained with her head in his chest. she was just too tired for anything. "come on." he chuckles. he picks her up bridal style and carries her back to camp.

"what happened?" raven rushed over as she noticed kodie's unconscious body.

"nothing, she's fine." bellamy shakes his head. "she's just sleeping." he took her to his tent and placed her down on the bed, covering her with a blanket and then he left, making his way back over to raven. "we need to make some landmines."