No Fear Shakespeare-Merchant Of Venice

Act 2-Scene 5

SHYLOCK and LAUNCELOT enter

SHYLOCK

Well, you'll see it with your own eyes. You'll see the difference between working for Shylock and working for Bassanio.-(calling for his daughter) Jessica!-You won't eat like a pig like you used to do at my place.-Jessica!-And sleep, and snore, and wear your clothes out.-Jessica, I'm calling you!

LAUNCELOT

Jessica!

SHYLOCK

Who asked you to call her? I'm not asking you to call her.

LAUNCELOT

You always loved to tell me I couldn't do anything without being told.

JESSICA enters.

JESSICA

Did you call me? Do you need something?

SHYLOCK

I've been invited to supper, Jessica. Here are my keys.-But why should I go? I wasn't invited because they like me. They're just flattering me. But I'll go out of spite, to feed off the wasteful Christian.-Jessica, my girl, watch the house. I don't feel like going. Things aren't going my way right now. I know because I dreamed of money bags last night.

LAUNCELOT

Please go, sir. My new master is expecting your approach.

SHYLOCK

And I'm expecting his reproach.

LAUNCELOT

And they've been plotting things together. I'm not saying you'll get a masquerade party, but if you do, I predicted it. I knew there would be a masquerade when I got that bad omen of a bloody nose last Easter Monday, at six in the morning, four years after I got the same kind of bloody nose on Ash Wednesday, in the afternoon.

SHYLOCK

What, there's going to be a masquerade? Listen to me, Jessica, lock my doors up, and when you hear the drum and the nasty squealing of the flute, don't climb up to the windows. Don't stick your head out into the public street to stare at the Christian fools with painted faces. Block up my house's ears-I mean the windows. Don't let the noise of shallow fools enter my serious house. I swear, I'm in no mood to go out to dinner tonight, but I'll go anyway.-Launcelot, go tell them I'll come.

LAUNCELOT

I'll go ahead of you, sir. (to JESSICA)Mistress, be on the lookout when you're staring out the window. A Christian's coming who'll be worth a Jewess's glance.

LAUNCELOT exits.

SHYLOCK

What did that gentile fool say to you, hmmm?

JESSICA

He said "Goodbye, madam," and nothing else.

SHYLOCK

The fool's nice enough, but he's such a huge eater, and slow as a snail when he works. He sleeps all day like a cat. Bees that don't work can't stay in my hive, so I'm letting him go, handing him off so he can waste money for his new boss, the man who borrowed money from me. Anyway, Jessica, go inside. I might come back soon. Do as I told you. Shut the doors after you. As the saying goes, lock things up, and you'll get to keep them.

He exits.

JESSICA

Goodbye. If luck's with me, I'll lose a father, and you'll lose a daughter.

She exits.