I have everything, except you - Thomas Brodie Sangster fic

4. He Turned Me Inside Out

After what Thomas had said to me, all I could think about was how I was going to act around him. I couldn't decide. Should I play it cool? Should I talk to him? Should I try even harder to flirt with him? 

Obviously now I had to drop the stupidity act, but I was completely unsure wether he would fall for me if he knew how smart I was. Usually that was not a turn on, well, it wasn't to the boys that I hung out with. You didn't see Stephanie or Patricia getting all the boys by showing them how to calculate the gradient of a graphed line, not that they could, mind you. 

I was trapped, but at least I had the weekend to decide, although there were, of course, parties to attend and friendships to maintain like the carefully trimmed and immaculate lush laws that adorned my suburbia.  

It's a lot of work being popular. Not to brag, but there aren't many people that don't like me. In fact, i'm pretty sure the only people that don't are the people who don't know me, like Thomas. I'm not known for creating life-ruining rumours like Kelly or sleeping around like, well, I won't say her name because that's the kind of friend I am. 

My point is, I was a good person, but that made room for anxiety-inducing ideas like, What if they all secretly hate me, but no one's telling me?  Or, do my 'best friends' actually want to hang out with me or do they do it under sufferance, to climb the ladder of popularity?

I was sitting at the dinner table, trying to sort out my conflicted thoughts when my mum started bombarding me with questions of her own, as per usual. 

"How is school? And science?" I opened my mouth to reply, with no success.

"I really wish you had taken textiles sweetie, but nevermind. I know that science was what you wanted at the time, you are so stubborn, did you know?" I rolled my eyes internally, but she wasn't quite finished.

"You take after your father's mother, unfortunately. There was no arguing with that woman after her mind was made up, I tell you." Now I was annoyed. She had turned a simple question into an insult in the special way she always did.

I looked across at my dad, who was eating in the polite and quiet manner that he always had, and silently begged for help. He sipped his soup, ignoring me. He had to, or else risk the wrath of the dragon lady.

"Uh, school's okay," I finally replied.

My mother is the kind of person who wants her daughter picture perfect for social events, a polite young lady that knows how to sew and cook, she's so obsessed with controlling me, it's unbelievable. My dad's mother died two years ago. My mum never really liked her, so she never passes up an opportunity to bitch about her. I wish he would, but my dad never fights back. It's not in his nature. That's part of the reason I am the way I am, is because he gives in to me all the time.

"Mum, you know I hate textiles, I don't even know how to thread up a sewing machine!" I argue, folding my arms over my chest. 

"Okay, honey. Calm down, remember, nice girls don't yell, especially not at their parents." She takes a sip of water, smirking because she knew how much I hated being patronised. 

Her blonde hair -not dissimilar to my own- is twisted strictly and professionally into her trademark 50's swirl and a string of pearls hang around her slender neck, emphasising her perfect skin. Somehow she manages not to smudge her pale pink lipstick as she eats, she sits poised and perfect, ankles elegantly crossed like a marble statue of a greek goddess, untouchable and emotionless.  

Her cold grey eyes pierce my green ones as she tries to figure me out, it was like her brain couldn't compute how I was acting, couldn't fit me under a label, like she didn't even know who I was. 

Exasperated, I left the table as soon as humanly possible and slunk up to my room, bringing up a skype call with Evan on my laptop. 

He is lying on his bed, it seems like i'd just woken him up or something, because he has no shirt on and blinks in the sudden light from his phone. As soon as I see his face a sense of relief comes over me, at seeing someone other than my parents, someone I felt normal around. 

"Hey babe, do you wanna talk?" I ask, tilting my phone to a more flattering angle. I thought I heard him mumble, "Oh, shit." 

"Uh, heyy, Milly. You know, now's not really a great ti-" Someone out of view cut him off. 

"Ev! I'm ready! Come back to bed!!" A lot of bare skin was now showing on the screen of my Mac.

I swear my heart stopped beating. 

Everything started moving in slow motion. Evan looked at me, he knew he couldn't hide it. We both knew in an instant and without saying a word that it was over. He bit his lip, waiting for me to blow up.

With a single tear trailing down my cheek I clicked the lid of my laptop shut, feeling numb.

A/N : sO. I dunno how this is going, i'm going to try put out a chapter a night (no promises guys i'm v lazy) until like chapter 15, just to get the story going, then slow down, because I have some already written and i'll use those up then write some more, so i'll update less frequently. Comment if you want, let me know if it's sucky or whatever.. ;)