I have everything, except you - Thomas Brodie Sangster fic

28. Miserable

Following that day, the scariest day of my life, came the worst day of my life. I missed Thomas desperately, I missed having Ryan to joke around with, I even missed the popular kids. I had Violet, at least, but she wasn't at school that day, so once again I sat alone.

From where I was sitting I could see Thomas' face, and his eyes looked sad to me, although maybe I was just imagining that because I wanted him to miss me. Either way, he kept glancing over at me, seeming like he had something to say.

After the lunch hour that seemed to last forever, I trailed to my Phys Ed class with a lack of enthusiasm. Dodgeball, Great.

I spent virtually the entire game on the bench, I kept getting out straight away. When I got back in I just bumped into people, dazed and struggling. People yelled my name, telling me to move. Mrs McKinley told me to wake up, and everything just came crashing down. I couldn't stop the tears if I had tried.

Mrs McKinley took me aside, and put her hand on my shoulder. "Milly, is everything alright? You know you can talk to me, or any other teacher, yeah?" I nodded, putting on a small smile despite the tear that slipped out at that moment.

"I'm fine, really. Just over-tired, I think." I wiped my eyes, and I could tell she didn't believe a word of it. She let me go, though, and the bell rang, so I walked straight to the changing room, grabbed my bag and started walking home, not even bothering to change.

I thought the walk might clear my head, and distracted myself by listening to happy music, pretending I was in a music video. It made me smile, and when I got home I was in a marginally better mood.

As soon as I got into the living room and saw both my parents sitting there I knew there was bad news. Dad sat with his hands gripping his knees, mum was in her dressing gown, a rare occurrence, usually the only time she was without her normal formal attire was when she was sleeping or sick.

I walked into the room and sat opposite them, already knowing this was going to make me feel worse, but not bothering to fight it. I took a deep breath, looking at dad first.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, but he looked down, seeming ashamed. I looked at mum, and she too looked away, squeezing her eyes shut as if to keep the news in the dark for just a few more moments. 

I waited for another second, then rolled my eyes and began to stand up. "Milly," Dad said, going over to mum and placing his hand on her shoulder. There's something I have to tell you." 

My heart beat faster and I sat back down, fear gripping my throat. Who had died? Grandma? Aunty Jane? Dan? 

"I lost my job, Mill," He said, his voice shaking, and I couldn't remember a time i'd seen him so upset. But the fear released it's grip, and I blew out a big gust of breath i'd been holding.

"What?! Your job, dad? Why were you guys acting as if someone had died? you can just get another job, cant you? I mean, it's not the end of the world, you'll find something," I babbled, grateful it wasn't something more serious. 

"Mill... It happened four months ago." He whispered. I've been trying desperately to find another one but nothing's come up and... i've let you and your mother down, i'm sorry." 

I thought about him going into the job office every morning, telling them anything would work, I pictured him out all day, walking the streets in his suit trying to find anywhere that would employ him... my heart broke. I knew he would've tried so so hard, and he was such a good person, I hated that no one would take him. 

Mum finally spoke, and when she did her voice was cold, like usual. "Because of your father we're selling the house. We've been looking on the other side of town, the houses there are smaller, cheaper. This means you'll be going to a new school, and i'm going to be starting work as well." She stands up, and begins walking upstairs. 

"No, wait! This is insane, how could you keep this from me?" I glared angrily at them both, a tidal wave of rage crashing over me. I couldn't believe this was really happening. 

"Because, I thought I would get another job, Milly. Please don't make this harder than it already is, sweetie." Dad pleaded, but I was trembling. 

"Stop it, dad. There must be something I can do, i'm not leaving my entire life behind! My school, my grades, my friends.." I trailed off, remembering the fact I was lacking in the friend department at the moment. "Look, i'll get a job then, tons of kids in my year work! It'll work out, I promise."

My mum turned around, a weird grin contorting her features. She laughed, a single, loud bark. "What good will that do? You'd have to start tomorrow, and you wouldn't earn anything compared to the debt we're in!" She started back up the stairs, muttering about the cost of even the smallest things.

I turned back to dad, already feeling guilty for yelling at him. "Trust me, dad. I'll make things work, I promise." I turned away from him, grabbing my school jacket and opening the door.