I have everything, except you - Thomas Brodie Sangster fic

14. Not what I planned

Everyone was sitting in a circle on Stephanie's carpet, 6 girls all giggling and swapping outrageous truths.

We had chocolate and fluffy pillows and a movie playing in the corner that nobody was watching.

I was painting a girl called Daisy's toenails, and listening to stories of how girls were being asked to the dance.

"Who's taking you, Milly?" Tabitha called out across the circle, knowing perfectly well that no one had asked me. Everyone looked over to see what I would say.

"You know, since Evan and I aren't a couple anymore, and there's no chance of us ever getting back together, I was planning on letting Ryan ask me, we're tight, you know?" I answered smugly, hoping to put the spiteful girl back in her place.

Instead, everyone looked shifty, and instead of looking embarrassed, an enormous grin overtook Tabitha's face.

"What?" I asked, nail polish brush paused in mid-air. "Oh sweetie," Tabitha began. "Ryan's taking Chrissy Coleman,"

"What?" I repeated, though this time it came as a shocked whisper. Steph came over to me and pulled me up, and,  sensing a breakdown, led me to the bathroom.

"How could he?" I asked, tears already starting to stream down my face. "Oh my fucking... I am so mortified!" I let out a sob, and then I couldn't stop. Everyone would think I was such a loser after what I had just said.

Steph's pats weren't very comforting, it was like she couldn't be bothered to deal with me. I considered just walking out of the sleepover, but in the end I just sucked it up and stayed, although my laughter was flat and my voice barely heard. I wouldn't be keeping quiet when I saw Ryan, though. Oh hell no.

*

I marched into school, after being dropped off by the bus. I had started taking it regularly now, sick of having to beg rides off people all the time. Almost immediately I spotted the crowd of boys gathered around Jordan, who was telling some detailed, gross story about some girls.

Luckily Ryan was on the edge of the group, so I tapped his shoulder. He turned around with a smile, arms outstretched. His grin faded when he saw my unamused expression and folded arms. "What?" He asked innocently. I led him by the arm across the courtyard and into the main building. 

"So I heard about your date to the dance," I started, my tone heavily hinting that I was really annoyed. "Yeah, i'm taking Chrissy, do you know.."

"Ryan! Of course I know her! I'm talking about the fact you've left me dateless and i'm really pissed off!"

He ran a hand through his hair, raising his eyebrows. "Milly.. You know,"

I cut him off again, letting out my frustration that wasn't all about Ryan and Chrissy. "How could you! Now who am I going to go with?" I hit his chest, making sure I didn't hit him as hard as I wanted to.

"Ow! Hey, stop for a second!" He caught my flailing hands by the wrists and held me tightly, blowing upwards a loose strand of blonde hair that had fallen over his eyes. Damn, he was gorgeous. 

"Listen. You're being a bit of a drama queen, don't you think? Just because you don't get your way all the time, babe, doesn't mean you have to blow up like this. It's not like we're dating or anything, and i'll help you find someone, just calm down," 

"Don't you 'babe' me," I answered, yanking my arms free, but my tone was a lot softer and I had calmed down. I collapsed into the hug he offered me. I couldn't tell him that the reason I had yelled at him was more because of everything else frustrating me in my life than the actual fact I couldn't go with him. 

*

Music was stressful. The thought of performing tomorrow in front of the whole class and Thomas was at the front of my mind, it had been since the day I found out I would have to do it. I knew my voice was alright, people had told me a few times, it was just the thought of how many things could go wrong, and how much I could be embarrassed.

I just had to stop thinking about it, because if I didn't then I wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight.