If #Wattys2016

chapter 10

It's Christmas Break and lets just say things between Amaru and Janet have progressed........not one bit. Amaru is back in Baltimore for the holidays and let's just say his family is not the only reason he's home.

"Baby what's bothering you. I can see it all in your face?" His mom asked.

"Ma, it's so much going on. I didn't plan on going to Cali and things happening the way it did. This girl ma,her name is Janet and I don't even know. She loves me ma,i can tell she does but I don't wanna love her. Every time I'm with her I just can't stop think of Erica. She reminds me so much of her" He tried to shake off the thoughts of his ex.

"Well, I know you probably don't want to hear it son,but you gotta let her go. She's been gone for over a year and I don't want you in that bad head space again. She's in a better place baby,and you have to move on. Maybe this girl is what you need to do that."

Amara's ex Erica died in a drive by shooting while they were walking home from school. She was his first and only love. They had plans of having kids and getting married but all that went away when she died. Amaru promised him self to never love another girl again once he held on to his girlfriend while she bled to death. He just can't risk losing someone he loves again. Just the fact that he's starting to feel the same way about Janet that he did about Erica is making him scared.

"I don't know ma,just the thought of replacing Erica is scaring me. I will never love someone like I loved her."

"Amaru,you are not replacing her. Life goes on and she's gone, which means that you were not meant to spend the rest of your life with. your time with her was a great and will always be remembered. If this girl loves you then you need to give her a chance,has she ever gave you a reason not to take that step with her?"

"Well no,but I just don't think I'm ready at all. She wants a relationship and I just want to be friends. I don't think she'll be able to handle me. I have my own problems that I need to deal with and so does she. She's been through a lot and even though I've Been there for her through it all,i just don't feel like we need to make that step."

"So what step do you think y'all need to make. Let me ask you something serious,have you had sex with her?"

Amaru practically choked on his water.

"Ma.... I don't think that's none of your business"

"I'll take that as a yes, I know you son. One thing I know for sure is that you're not a hoe,you don't go around just sticking you stuff in anything. I know you got feelings for her if you're being intimate with her. No matter how much you hate to admit it,you never even entertained a girl that you didn't have some type of connection with. Don't be a fool and miss out on someone that could be the best you ever had."

"You might be right. I'm gonna be in my room tell me when my sister get here."

Amaru left his cup on the table as he went up to his old room,with the intentions to call Janet. Talking to his mom made him think about things but that's not really Why he called. He just missed her and needed to see her face. She just always had this innocent way of brightening up his day regardless of what they were going through. He sat on his bed waiting for her to answer his facetime. Of course she did five seconds later. When he saw her on the screen he could tell something was wrong. There was no smile on her face like usual when she sees him. She had these big dark sunglasses on and her whole energy was just down,which made him concerned.

"Hey Jay.... wassup you good?"

"I'm fine,what do you want?" Her voice was horsed.

"I just wanted to check on you and see that pretty little face" he tried to lighten up the mood.