If #Wattys2016

chapter 11- Gone

Janet

Call me crazy,but Amaru has really been acting weird again. All that sweet shit and him loving me has gone out the window. It's only been a fucking week. We never even talked like we were supposed to but I let it go because I assumed it was a touchy situation. He thinks I'm fucking stupid Lisa told me she Saw him talking to Monica the day after we came back. Ever since then he switched up completely. He doesn't even want to touch me, and once again I look like an idiot for thinking he changed for me. I'm completely done with him, I've thought about things long and hard. I'm gonna talk to my mom and see if I can get some advice. Even though she's never around she's still my mother and I know she has my best interest.

I went and knocked on her door before walking in,she was lying down reading. She moved the book from her face,with her eyebrow raised at me. "Hey honey you need something?"

I sat on the edge of her bed."yea,can we talk? I really need to get some things off my chest."

She sat up and brushed my hair out my face. "Of course sweetheart what's going on?"

"Mom.... I'm in love. I don't know what to do, I just want him to love me the way I love him."

I could feel her mood change. "who is the boy?"

"Amaru and before you say anything just listen" My mother met Amaru once and hated him and the fact that we spent a lot of time together but she's never home anyway. "He's really sweet, compassionate and caring. He just needs some guidance. But I know he loves me,he just doesn't know how to show it. And you can say what you want but I feel his love all the time, when he holds me, the way he looks at me and when we make love." I was so into thinking of him that I didn't realize what came out my mouth.

I looked up at my mom and she was fuming red cheeks and all. "Janet Damita Jo Jackson i know my ears are deceiving me. What the hell are you doing having sex! I'm out here busting my ass so I can give you anything you want and you're out here hoeing around with some wannabe thug! Where did I go wrong with you."

I was shocked at her calling me a hoe,my own mother. Between her me out my name and my anger towards Amaru I just went off. "you've got some fucking nerve asking where you went wrong with me being that you're never home. You have no idea of half of the shit I went through since school has started. Maybe if your ass was home more I wouldn't have gotten raped in my own bed. Maybe if you was home more I wouldn't be so desperate for affection from Amaru because I'm haven't got any attention or love from you. You're never here,you can work to make sure I have whatever I want but I just want my mother to be here for me!"

Her hand connected with my cheek slapping the shit out of me. I held my face trying to relieve the pain. "You will not disrespect me little girl. I brought you into this world and I will gladly take you out."

" You know, I came in here thinking for once you would actually act like a mother.I've been having sex,big fucking deal. You won't even acknowledge the fact that I just told you I was raped and all you care about is me having sex. You're a sorry excuse for a mother."

"You ungrateful,disrespectful little bitch. Get your shit and get the hell out my house,now!" Her face was Red while she barked at me.

I was already out her room when I heard the word bitch. I can't believe she's acting like this. I have no one left, first Amaru,now my mother. I don't even see the point of even being here anymore. I went into my bathroom and got some pain killers I use for cramps and emptied the whole bottle in my mouth. I chugged it down with some water then went to pack. I'll probably stay in a hotel,even through me and my father rarely talk because he's gone more than my mother he always makes sure I have more than enough money. I grabbed all my essentials and as much clothes i could fit in my two suitcases.