It Was Always You | l.r.h

0.4

0.4
Seeing Calum

A P R I L

I've lived in England for nearly 4 months now. I haven't been able to take my mind off him. I haven't been attending school. I'm not the same person I used to be.

Today was the day I was seeing my cousins for the first time since we moved to England.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it. I hadn't saw Calum since I left. Calum and him. They're still best friends. Of course they would be.

Its my birthday in 3 days, that's one of the main reasons why Calum, Mali, Auntie Joy and Uncle David. I never used to call them Auntie and Uncle until i moved to England.

I never thought I'd miss Calum this much. He was my cousin, but also my best friend. Time zones are a bitch. Me and Calum hardly talk now.

I still talk to Mikey. Everything we've been though only makes our friendship stronger. I sometimes wish I listened to him, but my heart told me to do the 'right' thing.

I deleted every social media page I had and created new ones. I told Calum my new number, but I don't think we both want out phone bills to be a fortune, so we just talk on Twitter DMs.

I still haven't follow him because it'll be too risky, not yet. I had all of these depressing thought running around inside my head. I couldn't hold me feelings back any longer. The sooner Calum gets here the better. I'll be safer with my 4 and a bit month older cousin gets here.

I couldn't help but check his Twitter account. I didn't follow him, i knew it was too risky.

02/04/11 11:13pm
@Hemmo1996: I'm so sorry

02/04/11 7:37am
@Hemmo1996: It'll always be you

29/03/11 6:32pm
@Hemmo1996: I still love you

13/03/11 12:00pm
@Hemmo1996: It's only been 2 months, but it feel like 2 years

24/02/11 12:16pm
@Hemmo1996: it's too late.

24/02/11 12:13pm
@Hemmo1996: I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.

24/02/11 12:04pm
@Hemmo1996: I'm alway too late.

I had to read that tweet twice. That was 4 minutes after my plane took off. He couldn't have. He hated me. Do I ask Calum if he did go or do I not say anything.

I didn't want to go any further, I was already sobbing.

But he hadn't tweeted in two months. Was he alright? I still cared about him. Someone that's been in your life for over three years, you can't just stop caring for them.

I have still been writing my letters to Luke. No one knows about them other than me.

-

"Hey, lil cus," Calum smiled as he got out the car and started walking up to the house.

He came over and hugged me. I could finally relax. I hugged him back.

"I've missed you," I whispered.

"I've missed you too."