Inner Demons 》Ticci Toby x Reader《 Savior Book 2

Chapter 15

"This way," you pointed and Zero followed after you.

"Where are we going?" he asked, but you only told him that it wasn't far and kept walking. Silence hung in the air like a net, catching every whisper of the wind and rustle of the trees, but it wasn't an awkward kind of silence; it was peaceful.

"Here we are," you said after a moment. You pushed back the branches of the overgrown hedges and stepped into the ash-stained clearing.

"What is this?" Zero asked quietly. Something flashed across his luminous eyes, but you couldn't identify it before it was gone again.

"This is, or was rather, my house," you replied with a faint smile.

"I'm sorry," he frowned.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that burned it. Well, Toby actually did it, but I consented."

"Why?"

You took a few steps toward blackened, skeletal remains of the building and said, "When I left to stay at the mansion with Toby and the others, my mother killed herself. She had a terrible drinking problem and no other family besides me. I guess she could live with the guilt of pushing away her last relative."

"That's-" Zero began, but you shook your head and said, "Don't you get to apologizing again. It was my fault. I may as well have killed her myself. But despite what happened, if I could go back and change my decision, I would change a thing."

"Not even to save your mother?"

"Not even to save her," you sighed. "I loved her, yes, but that's why I'm glad that she's gone. The woman had a rough life and I'm happy that she isn't in pain anymore. I hold no grudge against her and yeah, I miss her, but she's better now and that's all I ever wanted for her. I wanted her to be happy."

"You really are something," Zero said with a weary smile. He stepped forward and stood beside you, looking up at the shell of your old home.

"If I hadn't left, I never would have fallen in love with Toby, never would have met the guys and Sally and Jane and even you," you smiled and twisted your wedding ring around your finger. "In the end, it was worth it. If I hadn't met all of these wonderful people, I may have been dead by now. I'm glad that-"

Zero grabbed your shoulders and tugged you towards him, pressing his lips to yours. You froze, not knowing how to react. You want so desperately to pull away, but there was something stopping you. A voice in the back of your mind whisper, Don't bother resisting. This was always meant to happen.

By the time you came to you senses it was too late and Zero released you. You realized their were tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, god, I'm so, so sorry," he hissed and clenched his fists at his sides. "I couldn't- I didn't have control of myself..."

"This is the dream you had, isn't it?" you whispered.

"(Y/N)," Zero said, shaking his head.

"Isn't it?!" you shouted. After a few moment, he nodded.

"But it wasn't like that! I didn't mean-"

Before you even realized it, your hand snapped out and struck Zero's cheek, leaving a red welp across his fair skin. You pulled you hand back and shook your head in horror. His head was turned to the side, his eyes burning like smoldering coals. When he turned back to you, his face was void of expression.

"Zero, I'm so sorry, I didn't..."

"No," he interrupted with a bitter chuckle, "I get it. It was a mistake. It'll never happen again, that I can promise."

"This isn't what I wanted. I didn't mean to, it just... happened," you pleaded. "Please..."

"Just answer my question and I'll leave you alone," he sighed.

"Wait, I-"

"Did you feel what I felt?"

"Zero..."

"Just answer the damn question. Did you feel it?"

You stared at the boy, unsure of what to say. You certainly felt something, but you had no idea if he felt the same thing.

"You did, didn't you? I can see it on your face," he snorted. All you could do was shake your head.

"Then why didn't you stop me, huh? If you didn't feel it, why did you just stand there?"

"I couldn't stop myself. It's like you said, you couldn't control yourself and neither could I. Let's just forget this happened and-" you suggested, but Zero snapped, "Just forget it happened? How am I supposed to forget it happened when it replays in my head every time I close my eyes? How the hell am I supposed to forget it happened when I have to look at you every time I open them? I can't escape it (Y/N) and it's about time that you accepted that you can't either."

Anger boiled in your stomach and growled, "You don't know a damn thing about me. I didn't ask for any of this!"

"Neither did I! We can't chose who we love, so just accept it!" Zero shouted and took a threatening step towards you. You took one towards him as well and hissed, "Isn't that a little hypocritical of you? If you can't chose who you love, then why do I have to chose who I don't love? I don't love you Zero. You know I don't."

"I can't accept that," he snarled.

"Then why do I have to accept that you love me? If you won't accept how I feel, why should I accept how you feel? Do you even hear yourself?!"

"Enough," Zero snapped. "You can say whatever you want, but I know you can feel it. I know you can hear him."

You froze.

"Hear him? What are you talking about?" you whispered.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. He's not going to let you do this and neither am I."

Before you could ask him what he meant, Zero was already across the charred clearing and disappearing into the woods.

I'm a terrible, horrible, awful person. I'm so so sorry! I know I said I'd update sooner and I'll spare you my excuses, but I really am sorry.

I'm going to stop making promises I can't keep and just be real. I'll update when I update. Stuff happened and all that, yall know how it is.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and being so patient with my bull crap! It really means a lot that you guys stick around :)