Lights, Camera, Lesbo!• Clexa Au

You love her?

Clarke had just finished tucking a very drunk, very excited Lexa, after she started singing bad breakup songs.

Clarke tried to keep her distance, because both of them weren't on the best terms and she didn't want for Lexa to remember any signs of 'weakness' . But Clarke found it very hard since drunk Lexa seemed to be very fond of Beyoncé and tended to sway around and point condescending fingers that landed her with nauseous feelings.

She finally stepped into her room and closed the door behind her, sliding down the frame of it exhaustedly.

Lexa was definitely more vibrant and random when she was drunk. She was also painfully honest. That's what made her so tiring. Clarke wasn't used to seeing the girl like that and she didn't really know how she felt about her.

In the midst of thinking about the brunette Clarke's phone rung.

Abby's name flashed across the screen and Clarke clenched her fist, hating herself for forgetting to tell her mother her and Lexa were no more.

"Hey mom"  Clarke breathed out. She rubbed her eyes as they pricked with tears. Having Lexa in her living room. So close yet so far was starting to hit her. Yes it was all fun and games but she did call Lexa first that night. She did want to hear the girls voice because she missed her. And having her in her living room, having the chance to just apologize so she could feel her, be with her. But the nagging voice in the back of her head wouldn't let her. The voice that tells her she doesn't wanna be with her. That if she did she would tell people. If she did she would have tried to stop her when they broke up.

"Hey sweetie, how are you? How's Lexa? I miss her." She heard her moms chirpy voice on the other end. Lexa and her mother became close in the short time they were together. She appreciated her because she managed to bring her daughter back to her, even if it was indirectly. She appreciated her because even as a teen she was there for Clarke, even in the form of a book.

Hearing her mother speak of Lexa like that was almost like hearing how much she messed things up, and it hurt her. It her her so much she couldn't help but bring her hand up to her mouth to stifle the sob.

"Mom, I screwed things up" her chest shook as the sobs raked her body. She kept her voice quiet, hoping Lexa wouldn't hear.

"Oh, honey. What happened?" Abby's voice was sincere and concerned but Clarke heard the slight disappointment.

"She wasn't ready to come out and I broke up with her mom. I gave up on her" she wiped her tears when she felt the door move slightly behind here

"I didn't know Lexa wasn't out yet. But I mean, you are celebrities, and she's been perceived straight longer than you. You can't expect her to just, drop that bomb on the word baby." Abby sighed.

Clarke nodded, aware her mom couldn't see her. "I know- I know mom I was just scared. Scared I wasn't good enough for her, scared she'd leave me like fun . I was scared she didn't want me anymore. I wanted to break up with her first. I thought it would hurt less. " Clarke tried to explain it but the more she said the dumber it sounded.

"Clarke do you love her?" Was Abby's only question to her daughter. She'd been through this before, with Finn. But it was much more happy and progressive because Clarke wasn't as hurt and emotionally scarred as she was now. She admitted to loving him and it was a great day for the family. But now it was different because Finn messed Clarke up, and now she second guessed everyone that stepped foot into her life. Abby didn't know what answer she was gonna get from her daughter. And she definitely did not expect such a fast response.