Conflict Reloaded

Chapter 2: Whereabouts

(Janelle)

Another day, no mail.

I lost my smile when I snapped. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. I turned into some demonic creature. As soon as I snapped out of it, I was standing in front of a judge being sentenced.

Emily came to me crying about how Reggie tried to hurt her again. Said he came to the house while she was alone. At the time, I was ready to pop at any moment. My baby Khalil was in my belly, so I couldn't do anything. As soon as I had him, I wanted to seek revenge. And I did it too.

Reggie's dead. Emily's out of harms way. I'm behind bars and I have been for too many fuckin' years.

Jamarcus has been supportive all this time though. He comes to visit whenever he can.

Emily comes to visit me often.

The one person I would really like to see or hear from hasn't reached out to me. But why should he? He has no idea where I am. At first I begged everyone to not tell him where I am, but I don't know why. It would be better if he knew. That way he wouldn't think I left him on purpose. I've wrote him numerous letters, but he never responds. He's probably too busy with other things. He probably has a little girlfriend and a little job by now.

Jahlil was my best friend. We went through some hard times together. I never wanted to abandon him or Khalil. I feel like I let everyone down, but I did it to protect Emily.

I thought revenge would make me feel better, but it only made and makes me feel worse.

I sat down and grabbed my notebook and pen.

(Jahlil)

"Here's the mail Grams."

She took the mail from me then stood up to kiss my cheek.

"Thank you baby. I had no idea the mail was here."

I was about to walk away but she spoke again.

"I need to run to the grocery store. But I have a question for you. Have you been out there having sex?"

I looked at her oddly. For a split second I thought she was gonna be nice to me. Silly me, why the fuck would I think that? I'm not even sure where her question came from.

"I have never had sex grandma."

"I guess I'll have to pick you up some condoms boy."

"Condoms? I don't need any condoms! Did you not hear what I just said?! Why are you treating me like this now? All of a sudden it seems like you are judging me... Or assuming things about me! Why?!"

Her hand went to hip as she gave me her signature stern look.

"Jahlil you are a male. You are a teenager. I don't want you to grow up and be like.... I just want the best for you."

"Okay so the best is assuming things about me? I understand that you want to make sure that I grow up to be a respectable, successful man, but please don't belittle me."

"Why are you so defensive? And why do you think you can talk to me any kind of way? I don't want you out there doing drugs and having sex." Her hand went across my face. "You will not end up like your father!"

I slowly backed away from her then went to my room. I heard the front door slam. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall blankly.

Why am I suddenly being compared to my dad? When he was my age, he was already fuckin probably. Yeah I've made out with a female before, but I truly haven't had sex yet. I don't feel the need to yet. Haven't found any female that I want to do that with.