(A/N) This might bore you. Sorry.
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Dearest god, I fucking love you. I know you know that but I really fucking love you.
I love the way you laugh. The way you smile. The way you reassure me that everything will be alright. I love the little dimples you have when you smile. The way your eyes light up when I mention something that you love. I love your hair. The way you obsess over little things.
You may or may not be reading this, the chances are unlikely, but I'm writing this because I need to get it out of my head.
You've been there all my life. You've been there when I was stressed. You've been there when I was overreacting over small stuff. You've been there through my toughest times in life. But you helped me get back up on my feet and keep walking. How do you do that? How do you make everything ok when it all turned to shit? How?
You were the first person I ever came out to. And your reaction was priceless. You were so happy. You couldn't even stop smiling even though I was crying. You hugged me, laughed, and you told me that I didn't have to find out my sexuality yet. You said that it was okay to be confused and that if you need any help that you'll be there. That you will always be there.
I can't believe that someone like you exists. Someone so kind, witty, beautiful, smart. You're so respectful to others. You try to make me smile which always works.
But now you've been hurt. You've been hurt by the people you used to call "friends". And you try to cover it up with a smile and a laugh but I can see right through it. You're hurting. You want to cry. You try to stay strong for me but you don't have to. It's time for me to take care of you. Because I love you.
I want to hold you. I want to feel your heartbeat. I want to protect you from the the evil in this world. Because I love you.
Your ombre hair. Your beauty marks. Your brown eyes. Your small figure. Your everything. You made me love you so much that I cannot stop talking about you. I cannot stop thinking about you. I can't. I won't. Whenever we hang out I can't stop smiling. You always try to find a way to make me smile, to laugh, to be grateful, and to have fun. You're helping me recover and I didn't even notice until now.
You care.
You are literally the light in my life. I was confused and scared. Your light helped me. It showed me the way to the end of the dark cave that my demons live in. And I will be forever grateful for that.
I love you.
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I wrote this chapter on someone I've never wrote about. She means a lot to me. We met when we were two years old and she's my best friend. She was the first person I came out to, the first person I told about my mental illness, the first person who actually showed affection towards me. She actually doesn't make me feel like utter shit. Which is helpful I guess.
I will not give her name. She doesn't even know I have a book on wattpad.
Anyways, thank you for reading it to the end. I will be forever grateful for you guys too!
Have a wonderful day! Love you all!
