(A/N) Please read (A/N) at the end of this chapter.
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It's so easy to pretend that you are ok. It's even easier when you're friends with everybody and tricked them into thinking that you are fine, just that there's this one guy one guy who I'm not very fond of. We've been friends since grade 3, but I broke it off. He used to think that I broke it off for nothing, but I broke it off because he wouldn't understand my pain, what I was going through, then again no one can.
He's been watching me and left a note in my locker that read: "If you cut too deep, you die. If you die, everyone you knew and was close to you will cry. Then they will feel like it's all there fault that they didn't notice you were broken, and maybe, just maybe, do what you did. You don't want that know... Do you."
I was so scared. He knew. Nobody knew except my family. He follows me go to class. He follows me walk to the bus stop. He follows me on twitter for crying out loud! He. Follows. Me.
I tried talking to him but he just quickly shuffles away. He doesn't do it so often anymore, which is good but like he's so weird... Is this like his revenge or something? This doesn't really bother me at all, but what I'm really scared of is... Will he tell everyone that I self-harm?
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So back to the It's Really Easy part.
It's really easy to fake a smile.
To fake a laugh.
To pretend that you're ok, when your insides are burning to feel that blade against your skin.
To be awkward and giddy, when I'm sad and broken inside.
You know what's not easy?
To clean up the blood after you cut.
To not blurt out things that expose your secret in public.
To get the burning medicine on my skin so nobody can see my scars.
To take the pills that trick you into being happy.
That's what isn't easy.
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(A/N) PLEASE READ!!
I cut.
Biggest mistake, yet it felt good. I hate my Therapist. She doesn't know how I feel! She keeps giving me the medication in order for me to be 'happy'.
I don't know what to say other than sorry... I guess.
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