Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 17.

Sam's POV:-

Remy wasn't home when I got back, and the place looked like hell. I had had a rough week, pulling double shifts at the diner across the street, and hadn't found the time to clean up here.

Remy wasn't actually home ever. I rarely saw him during the day, although I have no idea where he went all the time. I didn't mind it though, because with him being gone, I had the place all to myself.

Remy's apartment was small. Like, literally the smallest thing I had ever seen. Just one bedroom, which was Remy's, with a tiny bathroom, which we shared, and the other room, which held a worn-out couch and a tv on one side and a small make-shift kitchen on the other. The other room had been unofficially declared to be my room. For the time being. Just until I saved up and moved out.

It has been four months since I came to New York, and so far, the only places I have been to was this building, and the diner that I worked at.
Remy always invited me along to his 'hangouts' with his friends, but I always declined. I didn't want to impose on his life more than I was already doing.
And I was imposing, alot. Because I realised that he actually didn't have any room in his own house anymore, and it was incredibly obvious that he still wasn't used to me being there all the time.

It was already past midnight by the time I managed to straighten things up in the house, and by the time I reached Remy's room, I saw that he was asleep on the floor, while piles of books around him. I had never actually seen him trying to study before, it was an odd sight.

I didn't know if I should wake him up or not, but I guess I couldn't leave him on the floor either. So I just sat besides him, cleared up his papers, and poked him until he woke up.
"Jesus, Sam you look like shit", He said to me as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, shocked to see me there.
"Long night. Do you want some food?", I asked him.
We did this sometimes, shared the diner's leftovers and talked. It was nice. Made me feel a bit less lonely.
"Yeah, I'll be right there", He said, as I left the room.

~

"For a shitty place, they sure make good burgers", Remy said after eating his own, and half of my food too.
We were seated on the couch, with burgers, a plate of french fries, and four cans of coke between us, and The Walking Dead playing on the tv.
I was beyond the point of sleep now, and so was Remy. It was almost morning, and I didn't have to work weekends, and Remy didn't have classes in the morning anyway, so we decided to go all out this time. It was better than lying on the couch, and trying to fall asleep.
Sometime during the night, I had managed to go change out of my greasy uniform. This was the one thing that I loved. I could wear anything that I wanted here and no one would give me a second glance. But I still kept it on the low, I figured Remy would flip out if he randomly came home and saw me in shorts one day. So I kept it to tshirts and sweatpants, it didn't freak anyone out and it was comfortable.

"Sam? Sam? Sammy?", Remy was waving his hands infront of my face, I didn't even know I had zoned out on him, and on The Walking Dead.
"Sam?", He asked again.
"What were you saying?", I tried asking, smiling apologetically.
"You zone me out a lot, you know", He frowned at me.
"Yeah, it's a weird habit", I said, having no excuse for this at all.
"I was just saying that maybe you should get out more? Make some friends? Maybe even get back to your studies?", Oh Lord, it was the end-of-the-week lecture from Remy. I sighed.
"I haven't really figured it all out yet", I replied, same reply every week.
"I know that, but what I'm saying is that, you don't have to be alone you know, I can try to help", He said, and I turned around to face him.
"Yeah, thanks. I'll keep that in mind", I said, hoping he would drop the topic now.
"Are you going to talk to your friends?", He asked, hesitantly.
He knew this topic was totally off-limits.
Damn him.
"I don't know, Remy", I replied.
"I know you miss them-", He started again.
"Shut up", I cut him off before he began the sob story.

And he did after that. Normally these talks didn't end so well. Normally, he would bring them up, it would piss me off, and it would end in a bad argument. We both knew he was right, and we both also knew the extent of my stubbornness. I know he was trying for me, I know eventually I would have to stand up and do something for myself, but not today.
Today I just wanted to stuff my face and watch endless tv, and not think about the people who's smiling faces I had on my phone as a wallpaper. I just want this time to not think, just for a while, to not think about what I have done