Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 32.

April, Karachi.

Aaron's POV:-

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.

There was only darkness everywhere, no sign of light, not even from outside the window, or from underneath the door.

I stretched my legs, and they hit the wall infront of me, my room still too small for me to fit in to.

I don't own a clock, never really felt a need to buy one for my room, my phone mostly did the job of telling the time. I reached for it out of habit, and found it to be switched off. It must've been out of battery because I never switched my phone off. Didn't feel the need to do that either.

I got up from my creaky bed, and stumbled towards my desk to turn on my laptop. It was a habit as well now, and most nights I just left it on, so that if Sam ever messaged me I could get up and read it.

It had been a hell of a month, and I don't mean in a good way.

After that extremely weird night when Sam suddenly replied to my message, I hadn't gotten any other email from her. I knew she was online, she had to be, but she never replied.

It was a relief-more than a relief-to know that atleast she was alive and well enough to reply. But it also pissed me off that she left me hanging on to a loose thread of hope again. The least she could do was tell me how and where she was.

I left her emails, starting with simple things, and then it almost became a habit to come home everyday and type her a message. It frustrated me not knowing if she was reading them or not. I even left her my number. The same number which she had memorised, but I still send it to her anyway. In case she ever wanted to call.

It's been a month, and it feels surreal. And sometimes, it feels like I just made everything up in my head. Sometimes it feels like I'm hanging on to a ghost, sending crap messages every night to someone who might not even be reading them.

I feel not like myself at all. How did I become someone who's hooked on finding a long lost girl over the internet? I would've laughed at myself a month ago. But now her one reply from that night is the only thing that's keeping me going. She has literally become the reason for me to wake up every morning and hope it might be a better day. But I suppose it has been that way since a very long time.

Dash has been relentless. I had called him directly after my fit of crying that night and told him that I had found Sam. It came as a huge shock to both of us when she never replied after that. We managed to tell Hailey after a week too, and I asked them not to bombard Sam with messages until she actually starts talking to us again.

But Dash has been relentless. He hacked in to my email account and read every single message I've sent to her, just out of curiosity and because he's a crazy asshole. And since then, he has been on my case like never before. But I've grown accustomed to it by now.

The light from the screen of my laptop is blinding me, it's too bright a light in my darkness engulfed room, but I don't mind it right now.

I open up my emails, and there's nothing there. As usual. And I go directly to typing Sam another message. Maybe she will reply, I keep telling myself. I figured she has to at some point.

'Sam', I type,
'You haven't replied and I hope you know that I won't stop until you do. Probably not even after that. Just text me back, okay? Or call. You have my number.
You know, nothing exciting happened today. Although, Dash spilled soda all over some girl and she would've knocked him out if I hadn't dragged him away.
Sam, where are you? I just need to know.
Reply. Please.
~A. '

After pressing send, and leaving my laptop open, I lie back in bed. Still hoping that in the morning, something might be different.

~

With next morning came a brutal headache, and no reply whatsoever.
But I managed to make it to my first class on time. And that was seriously the biggest achievement of this semester.

Dash was already in his seat, and chocked on his drink when I slid in to the seat beside him, clearly shocked to see me there. It was hardly that surprising.

I actually tried to pay some attention in classes now, only because I had expertly flunked every exam I had actually taken and I was seriously on the brink of being thrown out of this university. I really had to set up my game. Even Dash was doing better than me. A fact that he was ecstatic about. He and Hailey combined forces regularly now to nag me about my problems.

I already knew my problems, and for once I was actually truly trying to work on them now. One step at a time.

We had started to hang out more than usual now, mostly whenever Hailey was free, because I know that's the only reason Dash would give up his lunch timings for. Not that he admitted anything to me. Not that I ever admitted anything to him. We worked fine that way, not saying anything openly, but always knowing every dirty little secret about each other. It was unavoidable really, because we grew up together and even know he was always by my side no matter I did.

We weren't going to be seeing Hailey for a week now, because she had exams. And that resulted in a very mopey Dash, whose plan to distract himself was to keep annoying me by asking me questions about Sam.

And that's exactly what he was doing now, throwing questions my way while I tried to squint in to the sun and drive in this traffic filled city.

"So, no more messages? None at all? Or are you hiding them?", He asked, chewing loudly on his bubble gum.
"Why would I hide them from you?", I replied.
"I don't know", He shrugged.
"Don't be stupid", I muttered. As if I could hide anything from him.
"You know", He began again, "I'm just saying, but have you ever considered that maybe she doesn't want us to know about her?".
"Isn't that obvious?", I asked, because it kind of was.
"But what is she hiding?", Dash said, his eyes holding the gleam I know all too well.
"Just stop", I groaned, before he launched in to another one of his made-up mystery.
"Maybe she's been living here all this time! Or maybe...maybe she's in to something bad? Maybe her boyfriend is bad?", He rambles on, but I cut him off.
"Boyfriend?", It comes out from my mouth suddenly, and my head spins off in to a million different directions.
"Well, I'm just saying", He shrugs and looks at me weirdly.
"Sam? With a guy?", I cant even imagine it.
"Uh, yeah. Maybe. Could be. Possibly", He goes on and on, and I can't wrap my head around it.
"Stop", I tell him, pushing my fingers in to my temple, in hopes of erasing this conversation that's driving me insane.
"Aaron. You're being a hypocrite. If you can sleep around with half the girls in this city, Sam can get a guy too", He says.
"I-it's not like that with her", I say, suddenly feeling stupid for sending her messages daily. Fuck, I'm stupid.
"Ofcourse it isn't", He rolls his eyes at me.

I try to focus on driving but I eventually just drop him home instead of the icecream shop he wanted to go. And then I vaguely remember driving myself home.

The entire time, my head was only filled with the ideas of Sam and some guy. A guy laughing with her, walking with her, a guy with his arms around her. And it filled me with rage and guilt, because I knew I was being a hypocrite. But it was different for me. No one meant anything to me, but it wouldn't be like that for her. She wouldn't just sleep around. Fuck, I couldn't even imagine her sleeping around. Or sleeping with anyone basically. It made me cringe.
I had never even imagined her with anyone, not even me. Especially me. Dash was wrong. It wasn't like that with her. It was just protectiveness, and we were friends since so long.
But it felt so much more complicated than before now.
Now all I could think of was Sam-my Sam-with someone else.