Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 36.

                                                                            October, Karachi.

Aaron's POV:-

I know this is a dream. I'm sure of it, and it definitely has to be, because there is no way that this my reality. My reality doesn't consist of this, my reality doesn't consist of this gorgeous, beautiful girl sitting in front of me and laughing without a care in the world. Her eyes are her eyes, and her hair is still her hair. She looks as if she hasn't aged at all. She looks just like the Sam I used to know. And I know that this is just my damn mind playing tricks on me again, because the Sam I used to know doesn't exist in my reality. In my reality, Sam is now a girl who lives alone in New York with a guy, and shares her living space with him and God knows what else. I can't imagine the what else part. I never want to, and yet she haunts me every night in my dream now.

My theory of this being a dream is confirmed when I see Dash sitting beside me, and Hailey somewhere in the picture as well. This is absolutely a fucking dream because I haven't spoken to them in about three whole weeks. And I don't think they have tried to either.

I'm trying to wake up from it, I'm kicking myself mentally and trying to look everywhere but at her, because that's the one thing I don't want to do now. And right on cue, there's a hand on her shoulder, and she gets up and wraps her arms around him.

And that's when I do actually manage to wake up. I jolt right up my the disastrous dream, and from my bed, all in one second. I'm covered in sweat, and my heart is beating violently against my chest. I go through the same emotions as I do every night. Shock, despair, betrayal. One following the other, always in the same sequence.

I don't understand why it's still such a shock to me. I should've gotten over it by now, at least a little bit. During the day, I can pretend to my normal dick self, but I know once I sleep, it'll start all over again. Maybe I was too caught up in the idea that I had created inside my head to even consider other possibilities. Especially this possibility. And what a shocker it was indeed.

It happened about a month ago, Hailey was supposed to be talking to Sam on Skype, something only she could do. I was only reserved for emails, God knows why. And Dash and I were eavesdropping, peering at Hailey from behind the door. I had been against it, mostly because as much as I wanted to see her, I also didn't. I didn't know what I would find, or how I would react when I saw her again. So basically I was just there to accompany Dash. And amidst their conversation, something strange happened. I noticed this strange change of expression on Dash's face, and when he looked back at me with sympathy in his eyes, I pushed him aside to see for myself. I didn't manage to see much, because Hailey had turned around to look at me with the same expression Dash had on his face, but I caught just a glimpse of a mop of dark unruly hair in the background, and a naked chest that couldn't have belonged to anyone other than a guy. And then I was out the door. I didn't stop to listen to Hailey screaming at me to stop, and I didn't call Dash back, or open the door for him when he showed up at my house multiple times. It wasn't anyone's fault, and I never blamed them. But I had just wanted to be alone. Just for a while.

The shock that I had wasn't anything I had ever felt before. And Dash was probably right, I was a hypocrite. I was stupid and empty headed enough to just trust that Sam wasn't that kind of a girl. I had always believed that my whole life. And now it was hard to imagine her as someone else, someone who lived a completely different life than the one she made me believe she did. It all made sense, why she always avoided all the questions I had asked her, and she didn't tell me anything. But she had told Hailey. She trusted her more than me? Probably did, must be a girl thing.

And now, a month later, I felt stupid and reckless and weird. Now I felt like maybe I had overreacted, maybe I should've listened to Hailey and Dash. But I also knew they couldn't understand, and I really didn't need any sympathy from them. That stung the most. It made me feel like a helpless little boy, which I never wanted to be.

I wondered what that made me now, sitting in my room, soaked in my own sweat, and still hung up on the same girl. I knew she still emailed me every day, as if nothing had changed, but now I never even bothered to open and read them. I just needed to straighten my head out before I could talk to her again. It probably wasn't her fault either, because she didn't know that I felt this way. I didn't even understand my feelings myself, and I hadn't exactly made it clear for her. Even if I had done that, there wasn't any way that she would've felt the same. Or still did.

I realize that I miss Dash. Hailey as well. This is probably the longest I've ever gone without speaking to him. He has been alongside me since kindergarten, and never left my side after I punched the scrawny little kid who had pushed him. He was more a brother to me than my actual brothers, and fuck, I had been a dick to him. My asshole-ish attitude may have gone a bit far this time.

I don't do apologies, and between him and me, there has never been a need for one. But right now, I'm actually nervous as I wait for him to answer, or ignore my call. Totally his choice. Although it's 3 in the damn morning. But when did that ever stop me from bothering him?

He picks up on the third ring. As usual.

"What's up?", He says, sleepy voice and all.

"Can you meet me outside your house?", I ask, I need a smoke, and he will too if he wants to hear what I have to say.

"Sure. See you in ten", He says, and hangs up.

And I scurry around my room, getting dressed and running down the stairs, and out of my house.

Apologizing to Dash is the most embarrassing moment of my life. He laughs and laughs and laughs and then hits me on the head and takes four of my cigarettes. I don't know what to say, but when I open my mouth, everything comes rushing out. A hurricane of words that I must have kept hidden inside, and when I'm done, I'm grateful that he doesn't have that sympathy look in his eyes.

"It is what it is, but at least you're accepting it now", He says, blowing the smoke in my face.

"I'm fine", I groan, I don't need any emotional talk.

"Yeah, well. Since you've been MIA, you probably don't know what's going on", He says, taking his time, and I know he's stalling.

"What's going on?", I ask him. Not really sure if I'm ready to find out or not.

"I'm really sorry, dude. But it's better if you know right now", He sighs, and looks at me before continuing, "Hailey said she might be coming back for a visit. Her parents are forcing her to".

I take a swig, and crush the remainder of the cigarette with my foot. I didn't even know she was talking to her parents, I really didn't know anything anymore apparently.

"With him?", I ask Dash. Better to get it out now.

"Probably", He shrugs.

"You, uh, know who he is?", I try to sound casual, but I know it comes out as desperate. Fuck. What have I turned in to?

"You sure you want to know? Your mind might explode with all this new information", He grins, but I know he isn't enjoying this either.

"Bring it on", I say, and take a seat on the cold, wet grass and motion for him to follow.

It's going to be a long night.