Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 41.

December, Karachi.

Samantha's POV:-

I will literally never understand human nature. Human nature that makes us so incapable of enjoying things that we do have, human nature that makes us so incapable of controlling our emotions, and this human nature of ours, that practically ruins our damn lives.

I don't think that I'm mostly ungrateful for everything that I have in my life, but recently, I've just been wanting more of everything.

When my parents sat us down and interrogated, and asked me to explain everything, and I mean everything, to them, I wasn't satisfied. I wanted them to be completely fine with everything, and I wanted them to agree to everything I wanted and said. I know that's highly unlikely and really stupid of me to think so, because obviously they need to think about it at their own pace and get over the shock of their lives, but I just wasn't satisfied.

When they asked Remy to find a place to live, I practically lost my mind. Not that we hadn't thought about this outcome before, we had, because it was very likely to happen. And Remy was okay with it, respecting my parents wishes and all, but I just wanted him near me at all times. Even though I was well aware that it was impossible for this week, and I had sort out my problems on my own and not drag him more in to it. But I just felt so desperate and needy and clingy.

I've never been so clingy about anything in my life before, and I didn't want to start now, but everything here was irritating me, and I didn't know how to cope.

With Remy staying with some of his relatives, all I did mostly was mope around in my old room. My parents were still staying a suitable distance away from me, probably trying to assess what kind of a person I was now, so I had nothing to do but to roam around the house all day, or stay in my room.

I didn't actually expect that everyone will accept me with open arms, but I also didn't realise that they would treat me as a completely different person. I wasn't a different person, just a changed one. I was more like me now than I ever had been before, and I wasn't ashamed of it. And I could respect the fact that everyone needed their own space right now to cope with the facts and make up their minds.

With Remy so far away, I felt lost and alone. I mean, he texted me all the time, constantly worrying about me because I kept ranting about it, but I felt like this week couldn't end fast enough. It was just a week, just one week, and it felt excruciatingly long and tortuous. I felt guilty for thinking this way because I should've been spending time with my family, but in all honesty, I think I was avoiding them as much as they were avoiding me.

I had tried, really tried, to act normally and behave and be polite. But it wasn't the same, nothing could ever be the same now. They didn't see me as I was, and I wasn't even like how I used to be, I didn't know what they expected of me, and I didn't know what to do.
I had tried talking, answering every question that was asked, but I couldn't keep my poker face for that long.
Because when my Dad blatantly started taunting Remy in front of me, I snapped back at him, and regretted it instantly when I saw the expression on his face.

I knew the whole Remy situation was fairly inappropriate and entirely awkward for them to accept and handle, but it is what it is, and they will have to get over it one day. Because there really is no other way around it now.

As for my friends, I hadn't had a chance to talk to them properly. Hailey had visited once, and we had just sat awkwardly for a whole two hours before she started rambling and then we talked straight for the next few hours without interruptions, awkwardness, or apologies. It felt natural with her, it always did. And I was so grateful for that because I really needed someone to talk to, and she was perfect for that.
Before leaving that day, she invited me to a party that she was throwing in my honor, apparently. I told her she didn't need to, we could just meet like we always did, with tea and snacks and a lot of time to waste, but she had everything planned. She asked me to bring Remy along, and I asked her, hesitantly, if Aaron will show up.

In the entire three days that I have been here, never once have I heard from Dash or Aaron. I can't believe that we're all in the same city now and they didn't even bother to come and see me. Or atleast call. I knew now that I would see them at the party tomorrow night, and I was nervous already. I didn't like parties, and I definitely didn't like the attention. I would've preferred to meet them like we always did, but I knew I couldn't get out of this party issue.

I had told Remy about it, and he didn't seem to mind. And that made me more uncomfortable, because I didn't know how I was going introduce him to my friends. I didn't know how that would turn out.

But mostly, mostly on my mind was Aaron. I was denying it, completely denying the fact to myself that I was stressing over him, but I was. All I could think about all the damn day was what would it be like to see him, to talk to him, to hear his voice again, to hear him laughing at me again. I just sat in my room all day thinking what he looked like, or what he would be doing at that moment. It was infuriating to be so close to him, and he still wasn't even talking to me. I didn't even know why. I felt like he didn't even care that I was back, or maybe he didn't want to see me. I could talk to Hailey all day long, but talking to Aaron was different. It was satisfying, and I had forgotten what it felt like, and I yearned for it again.

I felt guilty for obsessing over him. Whenever I thought about about it, I remembered Remy, and I felt like it was some weird sinful thing that I was doing. I knew that, I completely understood that, but I couldn't get Aaron out of my mind. And just thinking about tomorrow made my stomach churn with nervousness.

Nothing in this universe is ever infinite, apart from human nature. Human nature doesn't change. No matter how good you think you are, we're all cursed with this. We can't escape it, and we definitely cannot accept it. It is what it is. And it's absolutely miserable, and it will screw us over but in the end, that's all we know.