Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 33.

April, New York.

Samantha's POV:-

Life is not about running away. You can try, but you really can't run away from anything in this world.
You can try and run from homework assignments, but you'll have to do them in the end. You can try and run from responsibilities, but one day you will have to stand up straight and face them. You can try and run from millions of different things, but the world is cruel, and it will never let you have your way. You just can't always have the easy way out.

I knew this, I knew this fact. I knew this like the back of my hand, and I still ran away. Well, not technically. But it still counts as running away. I think it does, otherwise I wouldn't feel so guilty about it.

I had planned to reply him back, I really had. But like the coward I am, I freaked out and didn't know what to say. To be fair, it did take me by surprise. And then I kept avoiding it for so many days, and just distracted myself with school and classes. I went to the bookstore close to campus and got a ton of books to read. I went out a couple of times, and hung out with Jade. I picked up extra shifts at the diner. I did everything I could to keep myself busy. Busy enough to not break down and keep messaging Aaron like I was so desperate. Because I truly was.

And after that Remy came back, and I went back to his place, and didn't leave his side til the next four days. Quite literally.

And it's suddenly in the middle of April now, and I'm sitting on this creaky chair in Remy's kitchen with my laptop turned on infront of me, and I cannot stop myself from crying.

I hadn't even expected Aaron to talk to me after everything that I did, let alone receive so many emails from him. So many emails. My inbox is literally filled, and it's all mostly from him. My eyes start to tear up when I see that he has been sending me messages almost everyday. Every day! He messaged me every single day. Did he really miss me that much?

I checked and then double checked, but there wasn't anything from Dash or Hailey. Did Aaron not tell them? Maybe he was waiting for me to reply before telling them. I can only imagine how weird this all must feel to him. I can't even comprehend how weird it feels to me.

There are more than thirty-five emails, and I figure it's probably going to take me some time to read them all. And that's perfect for me right now, because it's a Sunday morning, Remy's still in bed, and I have nothing but free time on my hands.

I decide to skip breakfast and just get myself some coffee, I'm too hyped to eat anyway. And then I resume my position back on the chair, fix my laptop right infront of me and start reading from the very first message he sent.

I'm already crying when I read the first, and I know that I wouldn't be able to stop crying as I go through all of them. And right now, I don't even care.

His writing style is so different. His messages start off as straight forward, simple and demanding. Asking me where I am, or how I am. Then they shift towards a different side, where he tells me all about himself and Dash and Hailey and even my parents. And then they become regular, and softer. I can feel him through his words, I can feel how much he wants me to know these things, just like I had been itching to tell him everything myself. I can almost imagine him, sitting in his cramped up room, with his back against the wall and his hair a wild mess on his head, typing away and squinting in to the computer's screen. Grinning to himself like an idiot at all his witty comments.

It makes me wonder what he looks like now, I really want to see what he looks like.

I laugh when I notice that at the end of every message, he adds in and 'A', like he needed to make sure I knew he was the one sending these. And he also added his number at the end of one email. As if I had forgotten it, as if I could. It feels a little reassuring that he hasn't changed his number. It gives me hope that maybe nothing has really changed at all.

The last message was sent only two days ago, and it breaks my heart to see him ask-almost beg-me to reply.

The Aaron I knew was always so rude, and so quiet, he would've just told me to fuck off or get lost. What had changed? Who was this overly talkative person giving me day to day details of his life?
I wanted to know him more.

He added details about Dash and Hailey as well, and I was grateful for that. It felt like reading about someone else's life altogether. I couldn't compare it to my own, or agree, because everything was so different here, and New York wasn't Karachi. It could never be.

I had an overwhelming feeling, and I was afraid I would lose my mind. My mind was reeling in millions of different directions and I couldn't control all these emotions. Happiness to hear from him, sadness to see how much I have missed out on, guilt for leaving them. But mostly, mostly I was proud. I was so proud. I was so proud of my friends who had done so well for themselves. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Aaron and Dash were studying mechanics, and Hailey was in fashion design? I didn't even know she had developed a taste for that. I had missed out on their lives, just so I could build my own.

I was still reminiscing over the past, and wiping my tears on my sleeve, when I felt Remy put his arms around me from behind, and place a kiss on my temple.

"What's going on?", He asked me, his voice still laced with sleep.

I turned around slightly to look at him, and I didn't know what to tell him, or how to begin. I didn't know what to say. How could I make him understand what I felt, when I couldn't understand it myself?

"Sam? What's wrong? Why are you crying?", He asked again, wiping the tears from under my eyes, as I shook my head, not able to stop.

He didn't push me any further, instead he took a seat beside me, and waited until I was all out of tears, and my laptop was all out of battery.
Only then did I manage to calm myself down enough to speak. And I told him everything, I couldn't stop until I had let everything out. I didn't even pause to think about what he might think about it. I just haphazardly threw all the details at him, and waited for him to tell me what to do.

A part of me was starting to freak out, but his eyes only softened more and his face held a smile so wide that I was in shock.

"Sam, that's great, isn't it?", He asked, reaching out to take my hand in his.
"But I don't know what to say! And I don't know what to do", I sighed.
"Why are you afraid? They're your friends, they wouldn't want anything bad for you", He said, making it sound like it was so easy.
"I don't know", I said, frowning.
"Babe, just reply him back. He sounds pretty desperate", He laughed, "I'll give you some privacy, okay?", and kissed me before walking back in to his room.

With some new found encouragement, I plugged in my laptop and waited until I heard the bathroom door close. I knew he was going to take his time showering just so I could have as much time as I wanted to write back a reply, and I loved him for it. Even though he must've wanted to see what I would write back, he was letting me have this moment to myself. These were the little things that made me crazy about him.

I wasn't going to let this incredible opportunity that he created for me pass by, so I hurriedly began to type so that I could send this message and wait for Aaron's reply. Something told me that's all I was going to be able to do for a while now.

'Aaron,' I wrote,
'I'm so sorry that I didn't reply sooner, but something came up. I just read your emails right now, and I don't know what to say to you, except that I miss you. I miss all of you. And thankyou for writing to me. I will answer your questions if you answer mine?
I'll go first. This one's easy. You've been asking me this since a month. So now I will too: how are you?
I'm great by the way.
That's all you get for now.
P.S: I have your number memorised, you idiot.
Write to me more.
All the love,
Sam'.