Another City Of Lights.

Chapter 25.

                        March, New York.
Sam's POV:-

From the window in Remy's room-yes, I still call it his room-I can see the city coming to life below us whenever I wake up in the morning. And that's mainly because I have a weird habit of waking up insanely early everyday, because I have a job to go to and books to memorise.

I love that view though. I grew up dreaming of this city and now I get to see it everyday. Although I don't get to see much of it, I haven't really felt the need to complain. Until now, that is.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit homesick. I can't figure out what I miss most, my family, my house, my friends, or the city itself, but I know I miss it.
I miss hearing the noise of the traffic everyday and everywhere, I miss the smell of the food wafting from the stalls on the side of the street as I walk by, I miss the loud mouthed people, hurrying past me. I miss standing there, just standing on a random street in Karachi, surrounded by all it's glory. I can't forget this, can't forget these sensations and these feelings I have engraved in me from all those years living in that city. It's like a second nature to me, a part of my existence.

And I would be lying if I say I didn't miss my friends. I still remember their faces, their voices, everything. It was working pretty well for me since I was ignoring it altogether. But then a few nights ago, Jade and I were having a sleepover at her place, and she asked about my life back home. At first I tried dodging the subject, but it turns out they were all I could think about. They were my life back home.

I don't mention any of this to Remy. I know he isn't the type to get worked up about this, but I feel extremely guilty and I'm not sure what he might think.
So instead on dwelling on that, I bury myself in my books and work. Whenever I'm not working at the diner, I'm at home studying for my exam. It's just around the corner and I need to pass. My whole life depends on it, and it's a great opportunity which I don't want to mess up.

Remy spends most of his day out too, taking classes or working, and we hardly get to see each other now. I miss his presence around the house, but I don't say anything, because I know he has to work hard.

One Sunday, I wake up earlier than usual, and find Remy in bed beside me, fast asleep.
His hair is sprawled all across the pillow, and he has his arm covering his eyes. He looks exhausted, and I wonder when he actually got in last night.

I sit up and look around the room, which is a colossal mess. The entire floor is covered with clothes and books, and there's hardly any space left to move around. And I have a feeling the room outside looks pretty much the same, if not worse.

It takes me an hour to clean up the room, which mostly involved throwing all the clothes in the laundry and putting some of the books away. Remy still hadn't woken up, not even moved really, and I decided to make breakfast for a change. I really had close to zero expertise in cooking, but I figured I might be able to make something edible enough.

By the time I had almost finished, Remy had also woken up. It was around noon now, so that wasn't entirely shocking. I didn't hear him moving around, so I shrieked when I turned around in the kitchen and bumped into him.

"What's happening?", He laughed.
"Breakfast is happening", I said, gesturing towards the plates of food I had arranged around the counter.
"I see that, but why?", He asked, sounding quite amused.
"Felt like it", I shrugged, and sat down besides him to eat.

I was pretty scared to be honest, and watching him eat was the most agonising thing ever because I was sure he was going to throw up. But he didn't, and surprisingly I didn't either. Everything was pretty much edible, just like I had wanted. I could work with that, definitely.

And it was embarrassing, and totally weird but I couldn't stop looking at him. Maybe because I felt like I hadn't had a chance to spend time with him since so many days. He looked tired, even after sleeping so much. His hair was a disheveled mess, and he hadn't bothered to change out of his clothes.
He was watching me too, I could tell. And I was overly worried about my almost homeless-looking appearance. And when he thanked me for making breakfast, I found myself turning red, which made him laugh.

I was almost expecting him to go back to sleep or to his studying, but instead I found him tailing me around the house as I cleaned it up.

"Why're you following me?", I asked.
"Because I get one day off, and I want to see you", He smiles at me.
"You're the one who's never around", I hear myself saying, and instantly regret it.
"Really?", He asks, but I turn around hurriedly and try to busy myself.
"Are you saying you missed me?", He asks again, and I can hear the smile in the voice even though he's in the other room.

I don't answer him. I want to tell him the truth, that ofcourse I miss him, I miss home, and this house feels like a cage sometimes when I'm alone in it. But I don't know if I should, I don't know if I'm in any position to complain about anything.

I've erased all traces of tears from my face by the time he finds me, and I'm hoping he can't tell, but he does.
"Sam, what's wrong?", He walks over, and takes my face in his hands.
"Nothing, I'm fine", I say, managing a smile.

I think to myself how different this is, how different he is. I never imagined my life to turn out this way, and I never imagined Remy to become who he is to me. And although I'm so grateful for him, but in my mind, I always find myself comparing him to Aaron. Aaron, who was always so rude and always so self-centred. Aaron, who I don't know is where and doing what at this moment. Aaron, who I miss so much that it's killing me.