deathly love

Ch 3. What's the difference between love and pain when they both feel the same?

I did not dream that night. Instead, every few hours I woke up and laid sleeplessly awake. I thought about my new friend Roar, my boyfriend Gregory, and the boy from my dreams (who I guessed was named Damien since I woke up screaming that name the first night I dreamt of him).

The next morning had crept up on me before I had a chance to fall back asleep. I wasn't even planning on going to school that day, but i remembered my promise to Roar about walking with her and i didn't want to break my first promise to her. I got up, got dressed, and prepared to start the day.

When i walked outside this moring Roar was sitting on my front porch, checking her watch. I cleared my throat to get her attention and she turned around and stood up. "Oh, I didnt even see you there. Well, ready to go?" I nodded my head, my multi-colored hair bobbing up and down, and we started walking to school.

School was worse than normal that day (except today i didnt get the shit beat out of me). Something worse than even that happened. I walked into gym this morning to apoligize to Gregory and tell him that I had forgotten that i had promised Roar i would walk with her (because i had texted him and told him that i wasn't coming to school today). I never realized how bad my life was until this very second. Time seemed to tick by so slowly, like it wanted to punish and scar me for life.

As i turned the corner of the hallway that led into the school's gymnasium, I saw the sight that would haunt me forever. Gregory was giggling a very adorable laugh, but it wasn't towards me. He was sitting in Krystian Camp's lap and they were kissing, their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Tears welled up in my eyes, and right before they burst out and down my face a small cry came from my mouth. "No, this can't be happening." I didn't even realize that i had said anything until Gregory and Krystian turned to look at me.

Gregory knew he had been caught. "No, Asher, it's not what it..."

i didn't stick around to finish hearing what he had to say. I was tired of this place, tired of the lies, tired of the pain, and tired of my life.

I ran out of Sherinsville Central High School's doors. i didn't know where I was going, and i didn't seem to care. I just ran. I think that i was trying to run away from my problems. everyone had always told me that that wasn't possible, that there were problems everywhere that you go. But i didn't care how many problems i had to face to get away from these.