deathly love

Ch. 18 You Find Out Who You're Friends Are

Everything had changed. Nothing felt the same anymore. It was like ever since the night of my attempted suicide, there was an awkward distance between me and Damien, and me and Mitch. I needed to see Roar. But I hadn't even talked to Roar once or seen her at school since the day that I had fainted in the bathroom stall.

I had already tried to call her countless times. I even went to her house, but no one answered the door. When I looked into her window, I couldn't see her either. It was beginning to worry me. What if something had happened to her? What if Mr. Bullsworth got so mad at her that he decided to get rid of her for good? I didn't think that I could handle another loss in my life. Especially not this soon after Gregory's death.

As far as I knew, I was the only person outside of Kristian and his murder group that knew what had happened to him. I found it odd that his parents hadn't called in looking for him, and that the school wasn't the least bit concerned on why he wasn't showing up at school. But when I really thought about it, I shouldn't be worried. Gregory's parents were almost never home, and they never communicated. The school was filled with people who were only there for the pay check, and they sure as hell didn't give a shit if a misfit gay boy went missing for months.

I brushed the hair back away from my face. I didn't want anything to be distant between me and anyone anymore, I didn't want Roar to be gone, and I didn't want to be thinking about this right now. It was all so stressful, and the last thing that I wanted to happen was have another panic attack. I walked over to my window seat and sat on the edge, looking outside.

The calm suburban neighborhood looked peaceful today, but I knew better.

Inside the houses there was probably abuse, both physical and emotional, going on, screaming, breaking things, crying, and heartbreak. At least, there was in my house. And God knows that no one in this neighborhood was perfect. They all just pretended to be so that people wouldn't suspect what was going on on the inside. And no one ever did suspect. That was the sick part about it. No one suspected that Roar was being abused, or, if they did, they didn't care. And because of that, she could be anywhere right now. And I couldn't stand for that.

At that last thought, I stood from the window seat and marched outside. I strode up to Roar's house and banged on the front door with both fists. I waited for a few minutes, then did it again when no one answered. When I realized that no one was coming to the door, I tried the handle. The door was locked. I walked over to the steps of the porch, looked at the door, ran, and slammed myself against it.

Pain shot through my body, and I fell backwards. The door swung open and hit the wall. I stood back up and walked through the door, ignoring the searing pain in the entire right side of my body. I limped into the foyer, looking around. I had never seen the inside of Roar's house before. It was extremely plain. The only thing that was in the foyer was a small, wooden bench. The walls were white, and the floor was laminent.

As I walked throughout the house, I realized that the rest of it was as plain as the foyer had been. The only colors were white and beige. There sat a small, white couch on the floor of the the living room, and the only other furniture in that room was a coffee table and a recliner. There was no T.V., no other tables, no other seats. I was amazed that someone as loud and flambouyant as Roar could live in a place so plain.

I wasn't surpsrised to find that there was no one in the house. There apparently hadn't been for a few days now.

Every door in the entire house was white. I walked down the only hallway in the house, and to the left, there was a black door. Across the door were big letters written in metallic sharpie. They said:

THROUGH ME THE WAY INTO THE SUFFERING CITY, THROUGH ME THE WAY TO THE ETERNAL PAIN, THROUGH ME THE WAY THAT RUNS AMONG THE LOST. JUSTICE URGED ON MY HIGH ARTIFICER; MY MAKER WAS DIVINE AUTHORITY, THE HIGHEST WISDOM, AND THE PRIMAL LOVE. BEFORE ME NOTHING BUT ETERNAL THINGS WERE MADE, AND I ENDURE ETERNALLY. ABANDON EVERY HOPE, WHO ENTER HERE.