Home Soon (Sequel to What It Seems)

Chapter 8

I said bye to everyone as I left the bus. Kenzie helped me with my bags and then her and Dub went home. Colson hadn't come out of the room all morning, so I didn't bother saying bye to him. My mom pulled up and Colson and Allie ran over to me.

"I missed you guys! Were you good while I was gone?" they nodded and I hugged them.

"Where's daddy?" I sighed and was going to tell them until I heard his voice.

"I'm right here!" I stood up and turned around. He looked at me and sighed. I just shook my head and went inside. Him and the kids ran in after me. Everyone ended up staying over for a couple hours. I was in the kitchen getting a drink when Colson walked in.

"What do you want now? Accuse me of something else?" he sighed as he sat down at the island.

"I'm sorry about last night, I was drunk and-"

"I know. I-I just don't know how to take in what you told me.."

"What did I tell you?"

"You still love me and that's why you were so worried about if I had a new boyfriend." he nodded.

"Well Skylar, people say things they don't really mean when they're drunk." I stopped dead in my tracks and looked straight at him. He looked right back and he looked bored.

"Damn Colson. Just leave."

"What?"

"Leave. Please." I sat down and watched him walk out. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so confused about everything that just happened. Everyone ended up leaving after him, so it was just me and the twins. We sat in the living room on the couch watching movies with the dog spread out across our laps. They had let me have Lucky a couple months after I got back since they were never home to take care of her. I didn't mind, since I loved this dog and my parents dog had to be put down. I couldn't focus on the movies. I was too busy thinking about what he had said to me. Him apologizing and then saying that, made me just totally forget about the apology. We all fell asleep watching Alice in Wonderland.

It's been a couple weeks since me and Colson and talked. Everything was back to normal, like I thought I wanted. Slim would come pick up the twins and drop them off. But today, no one was able to pick them up from my house, so I had to go drop them off at Colson's. I wasn't really excited to see him. I knew I had more important things to do than constantly worry about him and what was going on. I've been more focused on spending time with the twins and writing and recording when they weren't home. I tried working on the book but I didn't know where to start. I packed their things in their bags and got them ready to go. I prepared myself to see him as we drove down the road. It wasn't far but they insisted on taking a bunch of toys. I parked the car in front of the house and got them out. No one came out so we just went inside. I walked around the familiar house until I found him. It was bittersweet being in this house again. I haven't been here in years, and I missed it at times. But it held so many bad memories I was glad to be gone too. He was in the living room, watching an interview of mine that was new, and just airing today. He looked at me and gave me a half smile. I just looked down and went to sit on the couch. The twins came running in to see him. I loved watching him with them, but seeing him in this house with them, was just too much. 

"I-I'm gonna go. I'll text you in a couple days." he stood up.

"Wait, can we talk? Outside?" I hesitated before walking to the back door. I hadn't been here for years and I still knew where everything was in this house. 

"What is it Colson?" he grabbed my hand and made me look at him.

"I need to apologize..again. I shouldn't have been that mean when I said that to you. About saying that I still love you. I just, I don't know. I guess I can't admit to the both of us that I do still love you. Knowing that you don't feel the same." My eyes widened. A confused look crossed his face.

"Colson..I-I told you that I would always love you. But-"

"But it wouldn't be the same. I know. That's exactly what I didn't want to hear Sky." I don't why, but I felt like I was about to cry. I decided to leave before I did.

"I gotta go Colson. Me and Kenzie are supposed to hang out today. I'll talk to you later." he nodded and sat there as I walked away. I said bye to the twins and headed over to Kenzie's, which was just across the street.

"Hey, we're in the kitchen!" I laughed and made my way to the kitchen. Slim and Dub were there stuffing their faces with the food she had just finished making.

"Are you sure you're the pregnant one Kenzie?" she laughed and walked over. I hadn't seen her since we got back and she looked bigger than before. 

"I am, but you might wanna get them checked. Now, where have you been?"

"Oh, I was talking to Colson."

"Just talking?"

"Oh my god, yes Kenzie. Now what are we doing?"

"Going shopping! For baby stuff though." I laughed and we all walked out to the car. We bought some clothes and a few small toys. She was having a girl which made her so much more excited to buy clothes. While we were shopping, she kept asking questions about me and Colson.

"I feel so bad. I know he knows, but he honestly thought I didn't love him at all anymore. Like in anyway."

"You told him how it was for you though?"

"Yeah..but I'm not convinced myself."

"That you still love him like that?"

"No..that it stops there. I think it might go farther than that but I can't get caught up again. He is talking to Cierra."

"I don't think she'll be around for that long Sky. There's only one relationship that he's ever been serious about."

"I know."

"But you miss him, you can't deny that. Hell, I see him more than you and I miss him."

"What I really miss is just hanging out like the old times. Remember the first time we went to the old house?" we laughed. 

"Hell yeah! I remember that, that's when you stole my best friend!" Slim said as he walked over.

"Whatever, I wasn't planning on it." he nodded. I never knew I was going to fall for him as quickly as I did. 

We left and me and Kenzie went back to the house. Slim and Dub went to Toledo to see Rookie. I missed Rook and Johnnie, but I needed to have some time with Kenzie. We were eating ice cream while watching movies in the living room. We were talking more than watching the movies though.

"Don't you miss that feeling though? Being in love?" I sighed.

"Was I ever really 'in love' though?"

"Yes! No matter the day, or if you guys were getting along at the time, seeing how you looked at him, you were totally in love."

"I guess I do miss having someone to go to sleep with and wake up with, but I don't know if it'll ever be him again."

"C'mon! Don't say that. You never know."

"No one does. I'm glad you're happy though. You and Dub both deserve it."

"Thanks. You deserve to be happy too, though."

"I know..I just don't want to go back into that depression again though. I don't need that."

"I just hope you figure it out soon."

After our talk, Kenzie fell asleep and I stayed up just thinking. I found myself doing that a lot. I hoped I could figure out how to be happy with someone again.