Going Back to Get Away After Everything Has Changed

Ch 10: It's Not The Way You Plan It, It's How You Make It Happen

Hayley William's POV

"Hello?" I answered.

The jittery feeling of what Taylor was going to talk about was going crazy in my stomach.

"Hey Hayles... Umm. What it do?" Taylor forced out awkwardly, in a way trying to play it cool.

Oh no. Something is wrong. What is he trying to do? Or was he just being weird because he thought of something already?

Oh God, how do I even react to this?

"Already York? C'mon what happened to the waiting?" I joked with him. It came out awkwardly too.

"Oh-- Oh! Oh no. No, no that's not why I'm calling." he said on the other line. Something was particularly fishy on his side.

"Why are you calling then?" I asked, confused.

In all honesty, I was kind of relieved.

"I, uhh.. I want to meet up! You know... Chat." he said in a "smooth" way to cover up awkwardness.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. Well of course not nothing. Let's just meet up as soon as we can."

"Okay... When and where?"

"Your choice." he replied.

Something was way too off here.

"Taylor, what is wrong?" I inquired.

"Just pick a time and place. We'll talk it out then. The sooner, the better; that way it won't eat you while you're waiting."

"Okay, okay. Umm just me?"

"Yeah, just you. Please."

"So just us?"

"Yeah, just us."

Oh God, I felt as if I was in a Tayley fanfic (we read a couple of those, it kinda went like this). I couldn't help drawing at all the possible conclusions of what was going on, I guess shipping was one of them.

"Well, maybe Jeremy too." Taylor added. "But we'll see."

No shipping, thank God.

"Okay then? How about in two days, at your place?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

"I'll come around noon. 12 maybe?"

"Okay, I'll be ready at 1." he subtly teased.

"Shut up Tay."

I heard him trying to suppress a laugh in the other end.

"Sorry, I'll see you then. Thanks Hayley."

"Yeah, no problem I guess."

Well that was the most awkwardest thing in terms of awkwardness. Something was up I could feel it. Taylor can be an odd person, but this was just particularly odd. You would think he outgrew that quality, but he didn't. But that makes him, him, I guess.

I laid back down on the bed, and stared blankly at the ceiling.

You know, maybe it won't be so bad. He probably wants to talk about our kids or something. We treated each other as family. Always had play dates while we jammed and created music in each other's houses. We never got to experience that with Jeremy though, his kids were older before mine and Tay's kids.

In fact, Jeremy's children are all out of high school. He doesn't have to worry about them anymore. At least I still had two years with Christi. Jeremy is officially done, if Paramore is done that is. I wonder if it will be harder for him.

"Hey dear, is everything okay?" a husky voice asked from the entrance of the room.

I slightly raised my head up to see my Chad looking at me with concern.

"I'm just relaxing." I replied.

He nodded, not buying my answer.

"You want anything to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll get something later maybe." I replied.

Chad mumbled 'okay' as he turned away and left.

I rested my head back down and looked at the awards that were hanging on the walls of our room. Why would I want more when I already have it all?

I just tossed it all aside. It's not the time nor place to be dwelling into the future or the past, I should just be in the now. Appreciating the time I have back with my family. Appreciating the satisfaction of such a well done album and letting it take its course in people's memories. Just take each day as a blessing, and let the future pave its way by whatever I choose to decide today. I can't just "think of the future". I have to think of now. I can't get lost in the memories nor the fantasies. I'm in the present future. And I'll take it day by day.

But in two days, what Taylor ends up telling me, which I have the feeling its about the future of Paramore, it won't change my life drastically. Just more joyful adventures with my best friends. It can't be that bad.