pen pals // c.t.h.

comfort

**december 24**

This feels like the mom situation all over again. When I stood up to my mom, I thought I would feel better and that the outcome would be better, but I was wrong. I didn't feel better nor did I get the outcome I wanted. It felt great to finally stand up to him in the moment, but why don't I feel great now? I know I basically decided the outcome for him. But now I realized maybe that outcome wasn't what I wanted for myself. Or maybe it was. I'm very confused.

Calum walks into my room, coming from the bathroom. He smiles at me before laying next to me on my bed. Calum slowly slides his hand into mine - which is on my leg - which makes chills run down my spine. I look down at our intertwined hands that are set on my thigh and look up at him. "Are you okay?" He says softly, gently caressing my hand with his thumb.

"Well, I just kicked my own brother out of my life. How do you think I'm doing?" I ask him.

"You did the right thing though." Calum tells me.

"Why do I feel like I didnt?"

"Maybe because you told him that if you see him one more time then you would physically fight him. And you and I both know that you would never do that." Calum jokes, trying to lighten the mood. He chuckles which makes me laugh. "Whenever you need some comfort, you know I'm here." Calum says seriously this time.

I think about Calum. Calum has always been here, even if it wasn't physically before; but it has always been mentally, I could feel it. He always knows how to make me feel better and how to help me sleep. Calum gives me the slightest touch and it sends chills down my spine. He makes me feel at home. He is my home. Calum is my sense of sanity and stability.

I really like Calum and he needs to know.

"Calum, can I-" I get cut off by Calum. I sigh.

"Can it wait? I really want to do something for you. Go lock yourself in your bathroom!" Calum says, excitedly. Guess it's not the right time to tell him. I sigh again and walk into the bathroom, hearing him lock the door behind me. I hear him rustling around my room.

About 20 minutes later, I hear him unlock the bathroom door. I walk out and I see a fort and some fake candles inside and outside of the fort. There are also fairy lights surrounding the fort and inside it as well. Inside the fort, there are pillows and a box. I start to go inside, but Calum stops me.

"Damn, eager much?" Calum says jokingly. He walks into the fort and grabs the box and puts it in his lap as he sits down. I come into the fort and he positions me so I am sitting in front of him, facing him.

"Bringing your dad wasnt the only birthday present I got you." Calum says. "I was going to give you this yesterday but then the whole thing happened and I totally forgot. So here you go, open it!" Calum tell me excitedly, handing me the box gently.

I open the box carefully. The first thing I see is a pandora box. I open the pandora box and inside is an empty charm bracelet. I've always wanted one of these, but they're so expensive. I cant believe he got me this. I go in to hug him but he swerves away.

"There's more!" Calum exclaims.

I then see a bag. A pandora bag. I open the bag and I see three charms. The first one I see is a heart. It's a beautiful silver/red heart that has an arrow through it. I look up at him and smile. He doesnt see me because he is too busy staring at me opening the presents. The second charm I pick up is an apple. I pick it up, confused. I hold it up to Calum, with a questioning face set on me.

"Because you're the apple of my eye." He says shyly, blushing bright red. I blush bright red as well.

The third one is the letter 'C'. I'm confused once again. "What does this one mean?"

"It's 'C' for Calum. Something to remember me. So that when I-I leave, I'll al-always be with you." Calum says, looking as if he is going to cry, looking down at the charm longingly.

"Aw Calum. Please dont cry." I say, bringing him into my arms. Once I bring him into my arms, I feel my shirt become wet and Calum's breathing becoming irregular. I can feel tears brimming the edge of my eyes. Calum is my weakness.

I softly caress his head as he cries into me. I start crying as well. This probably about the fifth time I've cried since Calum came here. He is the one that broke my tears out. I was so scared of crying until Calum came into my life. He has helped me through a lot, even though I've only known him since August.

"Dont cry because you're making me cry even more." Calum says, lifting himself off of me. I laugh and wipe my tears and sniffle. Calum comes forward and wipes the tears that have fallen down my cheeks. I smile and do the same to him.

"Ainslee, please open the next gift so I can just get all of my tears out." Calum says, chuckling.

I open another box inside of the big box. It's a heart necklace, identical to the arrow heart charm he gave me. But then I realize something. The heart opens; it's a locket. I open the locket and see if there is anything in there. There is. It's a picture of me and Calum hugging at the airport. I smile but then become confused because I dont remember anyone taking a picture of us hugging.

"I asked a lady at the airport to take a picture of us hugging." He says, chuckling at how confused I am.

"Calum- I - dont know what to s-" I am cut off by Calum pulling me into him closely and kissing my forehead. My cheeks immediately heat up. I know I probably look like a tomato right now, but I dont care.

"Happy Birthday Ainslee." He says gently, caressing my cheek with his soft thumbs.

"You couldnt have saved that until tomorrow - Christmas??" I ask him.

"No because I have more surprises for you tomorrow."

I undo the necklace and wrap it around my neck, but Calum stops me before I can put it back together. He takes the necklace from me. "Lift up your hair." He intructs, in a quiet, soft voice. I do as told and lift my hair as he wraps the necklace around me neck. I feel his fingertips softly glide across my skin as he does so. I hear him clasp the necklace together.

I go to get up because it is about midnight and I am actually tired for once. But once again, Calum stops me from doing so. All he does is pull me closely next to him, slowly wrapping his arm around me. We are now facing each other, about 3 millimeters away from each others' face.

"Please sleep next to me tonight." He mumbles, pulling me even closer, if that is even possible.

"Of course." I mumble back to him. "Merry Christmas by the way."

"Merry Christmas, Hun."