Love and Fame

Chapter 81 - Panic Attack

(Sunday, September, 28th, 2011)

Today I'm going for a little drive alone around town while the girls are at their friends house, Athena is at the studio with Marshall, and D12. I don't know I felt the need to leave the studio while I was there. So I got in my car, and started driving around.

While still focused on the road I looked around, and saw a couple arguing. I wonder what's in store for Marshall, and I in the future. Will we be like them? I took a turn on a street, and saw a couple making out. Will Marshall, and I still even be together in a couple years?

Lately I've been feeling like I'm not good enough, like not good enough to be a stepmom, not good enough to be married to Marshall. Marshall doesn't know about what happened with Kevin, and neither does Athena. I've been keeping my bruises covered with makeup, so they haven't noticed which I'm thankful for.

Why'd Kevin have to do this? I've never done a thing to him for him to have so much anger towards me. Kevin's just a sick, sick bastard. I continued to drive down the streets of Detroit with the same songs on repeat. Déjà vu, beautiful, be careful what you wish for, and when I'm gone replayed through my speakers.

As I'm driving down the street, I see a mom pushing her baby down the street in a stroller. Makes me wonder if Marshall, and I will ever have a kid if we last. I wouldn't want a bunch like some people, he already has three girls. I would like just one, it would be nice.

Tears fall from my eyes, and I start to shake while driving. All these thoughts that have been going through my head have been killing me. My leg is so shaky that it's causing me to push down on the gas pedal more than I should.

"Fuck! I fucking hate this shit" I yell, and more tears slide down my cheek.

"So this is it
This is what I wished for
Just isn't how I envisioned it
Fame to the point of imprisonment
I just thought the shit'd be different" Marshall's voice came through my speakers.

My leg shakes one my time, and the car speeds down the street. It's starting to feel like I'm trapped in my car. I start to breath a lot quicker, and I know for a fact that I'm having a panic attack right now in my car. Trying to calm down is hard, I might hyperventilate. My leg shakes once again, causing me to kick the gas pedal. I can't stop, and I'm heading straight to a tree.

"No! No! No!" I yell out, and my car crashes into the tree. The windshield cracks, and glass gets everywhere.

The airbags didn't inflate, causing my head to bang on the steering wheel, and jerk back. Something goes through my thigh causing me to yell out in pain. I start to feel some warm liquid go down the side of my head, I touch it, and look at it, it's blood.

"And when I'm gone just carry on don't mourn,
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice, just know that,
I'm lookin' down on you smilin'
And I didn't feel a thing so baby, don't feel no pain, just smile back" I sing along with Marshall, and then I slowly fade off into the blackness. A place blacker, and darker than anything imaginable.

**************************************

(Marshall's POV)

I'm beyond nervous, and scared. I'm in tears along with Athena. Maegan got into a car accident, and it's not looking good. She crashed straight into a tree. I got a call from Kim she told me Maegan was on the news for getting into a bad car accident, and getting rushed to the hospital. It's crazy, we went from laughing one minute to rushing to the hospital in tears the next minute.

The girls are worried as much as I am but they can't come to the hospital, and wait for Maegan to come out of surgery. There's too many people here trying to get information out of us, and they just don't need to be around all of this.

"How long has it been?" Royce asks.

"Two hours, they should be out any minute" Athena said, and tried to relax in the chair she was sitting in.

I wiped my tears away, and sat up from the chair I was sitting in. I slowly walked back, and forth in Maegan's hospital room waiting for her to come back in. There was Maegan's blood on the floor, and it hurt me like a bitch.

"Mr. Mathers" A doctor came in, and said.

"Yes" I said when I looked up.

"Maegan is coming back now from surgery. She has a couple bruises on her face from the steering wheel, and we had to give her stitches by her hairline. When Maegan crashed a sharp object came out from the car, and went into her thigh. We were able to fix it up but, walking isn't a option right now. Also she is a bit hazy, but she's kinda aware of her surroundings" The doctor gives me the rundown, I nod my head, and Maegan rolls into the room on a bed all laid back with her eyes shut.

Maegan looks so bad I want to cry some more, but now that she's in the room I won't. She has a black eye, it's all purple, red, and blue. Her bruised are swollen, there's little cuts all over her face, and her lips are all cut up. You can barely tell she has stitches by her hairline though, it's like invisible. Athena, Royce, and I stood by Maegan's side. A tear rolled down my cheek looking at her bruised face. I sighed, and Royce patted my back.

"Um, Mr. Mathers I have some news for you, and Ms. Garcia" The doctor spoke up, and I looked at him while still holding Maegan's hand.

"What is it Doc?" I asked.

"Maegan is pregnant" He said, and I started to smile. Maegan squeezed my hand, and slowly opened her eyes.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you guys alone. Ring if you need anything" The doctor said, and left the room.

"Congrats man" Royce said.

"My baby's having a baby!" Athena says with a smile on her face.

"Can I um talk to Maegan alone for a minute" I said, and Athena nodded taking Royce out of the room with her.

"Maegan we're having a baby" I smile. "Um, squeeze my hand once if your not excited, and squeeze it twice if your excited" I said, and she squeezed my hand twice.

"I love you Maegan" I say, and a tear rolls down my cheek. Maegan gives me that "No don't cry" look. I wipe the tears, and look at her.

"We have such a life ahead of us now"