You Could Have Stayed

Chapter 7

"Wake up, Emma." Emma cracked open one eye to see her mother above her, gently shaking her. That's right, today was the day of the shower.
"I'm up." Emma yawned and rubbed her eyes hard. As much as she hated it, she had cried herself to sleep last night and now her eyes felt full of sand.
"We'll take your time but you should shower and brush your hair. I can handle you clothes if you want." Snow continued to pet Emma's messy curls as she woke up fully.
For some reason she was pissed at her mom for being so gentle, like she would break because Hook wasn't here. But she reigned in her snarky thoughts, she was just moody because she was pregnant. This wasn't the first time and it wasn't the last time.
"I think I'll take you up on that." Emma yawned, sitting up. "What time does it start again?" She glanced at the clock and saw that it was 10am, at least Snow had let her sleep in.
"1:00, I figured this was enough time to get ready." Snow had gotten off the bed and moved towards Emma's closet, entirely avoiding the section with Killian's clothes; not that he had many.
"Mom, you don't have to tiptoe around it, Killian isn't here and he probably isn't going to show up." She said flatly as she grabbed her bathrobe and a clean towel.
Mary Margret didn't reply, just pursed her lips and continued going through Emma's clothes. Most of her things were starting to get too tight so she only had limited options.
After a nice hot shower, Emma felt a bit better and decided to have a little breakfast before taming her hair. She found a few bagels and cream cheese, she made one for her mother and herself and brought them upstairs to the bedroom.
"Why so many choices?" Emma smiled when she saw her mom tapping her finger on her cheek while staring at the four different outfits she had laid out.
One was a simple pair of leggings and the cream sweater she had been wearing often, it was soft and loose so it would still work for her for another month or so.
The next three were all dresses. Emma didn't wear them often but she was willing to this time, she wanted to look nice and they would all still fit.
The first one was a bright pink one that nearly got ruined the last time she wore it, the guy she had been trying to catch had spilled wine on it when he ran. After a good dry cleaning it was good as new. But maybe just a bit too formal for this occasion.
The next one was a longer white dress that she couldn't remember ever wearing. It was a high low dress with a light and flowing translucent top layer over a thicker lace layer. It was a nice dress but this one was also too formal and it reminded her of her wedding dress a bit.
The last one was the dress she had worn on her first real date with Killian. Pale pink and again cleaned from a drink spilled on it; luckily this time it has only been water. The only other time she had worn it was when she recreated their first date when she was a Dark One. So mixed memories came with this dress. If she took the belt off, it would fit her.
"Oh Emma, I am so sorry about that. I completely forgot you wore it on your date. I'll put it back." Snow flapped her hands and reached for the hanger on the dress.
"No, don't." She put her hand over her mother's to stop her. "I'm going to wear it. It's a nice dress, it would be a shame if I only got one use out of it."
Snow pulled her hand back and nodded. Saying she was going downstairs to get something to drink while Emma changed.
Emma hung the dress up on the bathroom door and got into some underwear and a bra before quickly brushing her hair and teeth. She would wait until her hair was completely dry before putting the dress on.
She hadn't contacted Killian for almost two weeks. And he certainly hasn't contacted her. She decided then that he would receive an update every other week, obviously some of them wouldn't include ultrasound pictures since she only had those appointments once a month but she could update him on her progress. It was probably more for her own benefit, hoping that he did care.
  She stood in the same place as she did last time, this time the dress changed the plain white background of the door. A pop of color as well as her hair. She just took the picture in her underwear, he had already seen everything so she had nothing to hide. 22 weeks now. Today is the baby shower. You cared enough to read the last text.
  When she looked up from her phone she saw Mary Margret standing in he bedroom, giving her a sad look.
  "Don't say anything mom. It decided to send him pictures every other week. In case he cares. It's more for my benefit." Emma said flatly and pulled the dress over her head and barely managing to zip it in the back.
  "I'm not judging you sweetie. But it isn't your fault he left."
"I know it isn't. I just wish I knew why he was fine with one child but not two." Emma sighed. "It sounds like the first guests are here, let's go greet them." Emma changed the subject after the doorbell rang.
It turned out to be David and Henry, carrying more gifts. Emma smiled and let them in, directing them to put the gifts on the kitchen table with the other two gifts they had given her. Over the next half hour all the guests arrived, all of them bringing gifts and some kind of food dish. Emma wasn't going to run out of food anytime in the next few years. She was especially grateful for Granny who brought heaping plates of just about everything on the menu.
Her mom had decorated the house while she was still asleep, pink and blue streamers draped nearly every piece of furniture and there were all sorts of cheesy decorations like pacifiers, teddy bears and storks decorating the walls. Emma would never have picked them out herself but the pure cheese factor made her smile.
She had been laughing and talking with Regina when her phone rang. She didn't register the special ringtone or the caller ID and just answered the phone, still laughing.
"Hello?"
"Swan." His voice held the same relief and happiness as it did when he first found her in the loft in New York.
By the look on Emma's face, Regina could tell who it was on the other end. "I'll go grab the others." She said quickly and shooed Emma towards the stairs, the party had stayed strictly downstairs.
In a matter of seemingly seconds, David, Regina, Henry, Zelena and Mary Margret were all upstairs in Emma's bedroom. Emma put the phone on speaker but put a finger to her lips, letting the know not to say anything.
"Are you still there Swan?" He laughed nervously.
"Yes." She said simply.
"I am so sorry Swan. I cannot apologize enough." He started.
"No, you can't." Emma agreed.
"If you would just see me and let me explain myself-"
"You will explain yourself right now, on speaker, in front of me and the people who used to be your family or I will not listen to a word you have to say." Emma was being a hardass because she knew that if she saw him, his blue eyes and beautiful smile would charm her into forgiving him and she wasn't ready for that yet.
"Emma." Killian sounded like he was in physical pain and Emma buried the part of her that wanted to make it go away.
"That's not an explanation, Killian." Emma said and hung up.