Still Waters

Chapter 29

Collin and I had been doing it regularly for about a week when I finally ran into Kenney at the Waterfront. He was just sitting there on a bench, feeding the birds like an old man. I had to laugh. I had been doing that a lot, actually, since Collin and I had gotten back together.

When I walked over and sat down beside him, my silly grin was still plastered to my face long after the laughter had faded.

"What's up Tashi?" He looked so happy to see me, like we hadn't spoken in years. I tried to remember when the last time was that we had spoken.

"Hi Kenney."

"Hi." He looked over at me and grinned again. "So..." His expression was both amused and confused.

"Kenney, why are you grinning at me like that?"

He laughed out loud. "Why are you grinning at me like that?"

"I'm not..." I tried to hide it.

"See? There you go again!" Suddenly, his smile started to fade. "Natasha, seriously, what's up? You look like you've been up to no good."

I covered my face and giggled, but couldn't answer.

"Aw shit." Kenney put the day old bread back in the bag as the birds quickly lost interest in him and converged on a couple that was trying to have a romantic picnic by the water. One of the seagulls even had the nerve to walk up on the blanket and stick his head inside the basket. The couple could thank Kenney for that one.

I laughed loudly. Only Kenney could create such havoc by trying to care for another living being.

"Natasha..." Kenney's voice was so quiet I could barely hear it. "Did you sleep with him?"

My laughter slowly floated up into the sky and disintegrated. "Yes."

He nodded and looked down. Then he looked back at me.

"That...was your first time?"

"Yes."

I looked down at my hands. Kenney's eyes were too intense for me right then. I could feel him watching me silently, taking in every square inch of me, like he was assessing any damage that had potentially been done. I hated when he looked at me like that. He always thought I didn't notice.

Finally he spoke. "Are you alright?"

I looked over at him and smiled again, a little confused. "Yeah, Kenney..."

"Huh," he looked out over the water, but didn't say anything else.

"Kenney...I wanted to. He didn't make me..."

Kenney gave me the oddest look, but kept his mouth shut.

"He was so sweet and so gentle..." I don't know what the hell I was thinking saying these things to him, but I felt like I had to convince Kenney that I wanted it.

Maybe it was because I was trying to retract a story that I had told Kenney freshman year about the first time that Collin and I had come close, in high school. Collin had almost...not taken no for an answer. That was pretty much the beginning of the end for us back then. But that nightmare was also why Collin had been willing to wait so long for me this time. So it all worked out in the end...as far as I was concerned.