Life Support (Septiplier)

Breakdowns and Skype Calls

-Jack's Point of View-

I wake up, but I find it hard to open my eyes. I open my eyes and squint at the light, closing my eyes once again. I realize after a while that my eyes were swollen and a little sore. I was confused as to why this was, thinking back to last night. Suddenly, the memories of what had happened last night flood my thoughts and cause my chest to tighten up. I rub my eyes and sit up, stretching my arms in front of me as I yawn. I check my phone and see that it was now well past noon. I panic until I realize that I could take my time now that I have an editor. My head was swimming as I looked around, getting myself oriented. I drag myself out of bed at around one and I counted back eight hours on my fingers, determining that it was five in the morning for my friends in L.A.

I looked back down at my bed and it looked so comfortable that I crawled back under the comforters, curling up in my blankets as I close my eyes and try and drift back to sleep. I sat in silence and after about ten minutes, my mind started wandering back to my breakdown last night. I remember being surrounded by friends who had refused to help me in a time of need and I started to tear up again. I tried to calm myself down by thinking back to the times when Mark and Bob had told me that I could talk to them if I needed anything. I try not to cry, but I soon felt tears rolling down my face.

I curled up into a ball as I cried and I couldn't stop myself from crying and sobbing, even when I ran out of tears. I cried for what seemed like forever, and I finally dragged myself up and out of bed, my head dizzy and my body lethargic. I walk to my computer and I pull up Skype. I find Mark's name and I call him, hoping that he was up for some reason. I realized soon after I had called him that I had cried for two hours, and that it was now 7 o'clock in the morning where he was. After it had rang for quite a while, I gave up, hanging up the call and hugging my knees to my bare chest, putting my head down on my knees. I sobbed into my knees, soaking my sweatpants and I felt my back and neck start to ache. I don't know why I wasn't able to stop crying, but I had a creeping feeling that I was falling back into the depressive state that I had once fought myself out of.

A while after I had started crying, I heard the faint sound of someone trying to call me on Skype. I looked up through blurry and sore eyes and saw that Mark was calling me back. I let go of my legs and let them hit the floor, wiping the tears off of my cheeks and running my hand through my hair as I accepted the call. A sleepy Mark popped up on my screen with his hair messed up.

"Hey, what's wrong?," Mark says, his voice a bit lower, but still concerned. He looks at me expectantly as I wipe the tears from my cheeks once again.

"I....I don't know. My....I had a bad dream and I just....it's stupid, really," I say, suddenly realizing just how stupid I was for crying for so long over such an insignificant thing.

"Well it's not that stupid if it's making you cry. What was the dream about? If you don't mind my asking," Mark says.

"I....well, I was sitting alone in my room and I was crying and....no one helped me. You were all there but you didn't help me. And you all told me that I had failed my channel and my fans and....you all laughed at me and went away into the dark. I just....I woke up crying and then fell back to sleep and when I woke up...I've been crying ever since. I'm sorry I just....I needed somebody to talk to. I know it's early there," I said and Mark shook his head at me.

"Jack, it doesn't matter what time it is here, if you need me, you call me, okay? It doesn't bother me at all. You haven't failed your fans or your channel, and you never will. Come on, you're great at what you do!," Mark says reassuringly.

"Thank you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bother you," I say. I felt fresh tears roll down my face, but he shook his head again.

"It's really no bother. It's okay. Call me any time that you need me," Mark says. I felt some of the pressure in my chest ease and my tears stopped flowing for the first time today.