Life Support (Septiplier)

Warm and Safe

-Mark's Point of View-

Jack looked like a ghost of his former self. He was so weak he could barely get around on his own. All he did was sob and cry and cry out and zone out and then cry more. And there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I felt chained to him, like he was an anchor wrapped around my feet, dragging me underwater. I knew he needed me to be tough, but seeing all the progress that I had made undo itself so quickly made me question whether I was even making progress. So, today, I swore not to leave Jack's side until it either kills me or makes him better. If he cared about me, he'd eat, so that I could eat. If he cared about me, he would get out of bed so that I could get out of bed. It was a shitty move on my part, but I needed to get through to him. I needed him to know how dedicated I was to helping him. So, here I was with my shitty last-resort option.

I walk into the bedroom to explain my knee plan to Jack, only to find that he'd left his bed already. I heard the unnerving sounds of something throwing their guts up owing from the bathroom. I grimaced, but I moved closer to the bathroom slowly. I kneeled next to Jack and rubbed his bare back.

"What happened?," I asked softly. He spit into the toilet and wiped his mouth with some toilet paper.

"I tried to eat something and I couldn't keep it down. I'm sorry Mark, this is gross," Jack responded, looking down at the toilet before standing and flushing it. I followed him back to his bed, ready to catch him should he fall. I felt like that was a metaphor for how we were living our lives. Me, following behind Jack carefully, ready to catch him if he fell. He didn't fall though, successfully getting into bed and taking down a whole glass of water.

"I came to talk....," I trailed off. Jack looked immediately scared.

"Jack, you're going to die if you keep on like this. And I don't know if I can make it through that, you know? So, I figured I'd start putting myself through what you're doing to yourself. I'm gonna lay here in this bed next to you. If you eat, I'll eat the same thing. So on and so forth. I can't keep seeing you this way and I'm sorry to force you on this. I know I'll never be able to recreate your depression, but I can recreate the physical effects it's having. This is the only thing I could think of. I can't find any other way to help, I've tried it all, Jack.....I just.....I don't know what to do," I say, my voice breaking as I begin to cry. Jack looked at me like he had never even seen me before. He looked so stunned that our rolls had reversed, that I was crying and he wasn't, he had to comfort me. All of a sudden, he turned to me and he roughly pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Mark, don't cry. Don't cry because I'm so worthless. Don't cry because of me. Don't let my feelings become yours too, please, I wouldn't wish this on my enemy let alone the man that I love,"Jack said, barely holding back tears himself.

"You....you love me?," I asked. The words broke the silence jaggedly between sobs, coming out in horrible fits.

"Mark of course I love ya, you doof," Jack said, starting to laugh and cry at the same time.

"I love you," I said, still crying, laughing at the fact that we were now just two grown men, sobbing because we loved each other so much.

"Mark, I'll try to be better I will. I'll try and help myself so that you don't shoulder the whole burden. It's hard, though. It's really hard. I'm here but I feel like I don't belong. Food has lost its taste, and I'm so tired Mark. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't laugh, I can't kiss you like I way to....I can't do anything. I can't even record videos and that's my job it's so hard, Mark," Jack explains.

"That's what she said," I say, still crying but smiling and giggling a little at my own joke. Jack stopped dead in his tracks, reexamining what he had said. He had stopped crying and he started to laugh a little bit. I laughed harder and so did he and we finally were out of breath.

"Mark, I love you. I'll fight for myself if it means that I'm fighting for you too," Jack said. Jack had been throwing up over trying to keep down a piece of bread, but here he was, ready to fall into the three-meals-a-day routine just so that I felt better about myself. I was pathetic, but I was willing to go to any lengths just to make him smile again.

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That night, when I stripped down to my boxers and stepped up to the bed, Jack was already half asleep, reaching his hand out to hold onto my hand. I twisted my fingers around his and I pulled him towards me, dragging his body to a sitting up position to be closer to me.

"Are you gonna sleep tonight too?," I ask, crawling on the bed on my knees to be closer to him and face to face with him.

"I think so," he said with a yawn.

"Good," I say, leaning towards his irresistible lips and brushing them with my own. It was nice and gently and it was a feeling that felt new to me, even though it wasn't. I brought my hand up to the side of his head, running my fingers through the hair behind his ears to hold him in place as I kissed him. I felt his hands place themselves on the front of my chest and when I pulled away, I brought my hands down to hold his over my heart.

"I love you," I say, with another sweet and gentle kiss. He was cold, but I was warm and he soon warmed up as well. I wrapped my arms around him and gently rocked us back and forth as he whispered "I love you too" in my ear. He put his head on my shoulder and I rubbed his back with my hands. I kissed the side of his neck a bunch before letting him go and pulling my body under the cover with him. He turned over and we spooned, whispering back and forth about how much we loved each other, "To the moon and back", "To Jupiter and back", "To Pluto and back"......yada yada, until I heard Jack's breathing change and felt the small man's tiny muscles relax and fall into a deep sleep. I made sure I was the closest to him that I could possibly get. His smell filled my nostrils and I was overwhelmed with the need to just squeeze the Irish out of this man. He was the light of my life, no matter how dark his life had gotten. I knew that he was completely safe in my arms, and I hoped that he felt safe and warm next to me.

In that moment, I knew that everything was going to be alright.

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Well hi there guys. Another chapter done, wooooo. This book has had some unexpected twists and turns in it that I didn't even know I was going to add into it. I'm a very emotional writer, so what I feel when I'm writing tends to bleed through heavily in my work. I've been having some majors ups and downs and twists and turns in my own life, and I know it has probably turned this story into a shit show, but it's the same kind of shit show that's going on in my life right now, so oh well. Welcome to my own, personal slice of hell. Anyways, I hope all of you are well. If you ever need anything, I'm always here. You're never alone, no matter how alone you really feel. Just remember that. I love you guys, thanks for the overwhelming response. Much love <3 and I'll see you in the next chapter! Buh bye!
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