Fallen Heroes

Chapter Eleven: Committed to Your Memory

My father-figure pulled me into a hug, smiling brightly as he took me in. His eyes narrowed as he took in my gloomy expression. "What did you do this time, ya idjit?" Bobby sighed.

I looked down at my feet and ground my toe into the hardwood floor. "Werewolf..." I mumbled.

He rubbed his forehead. "How many times do I have to tell you? Never turn your back on a monster."

"It wasn't my back," I argued. "It was my side."

"Don't matter. Never turn from a monster."

I crossed my arms. "Well it doesn't help me now, does it?"

Sam cleared his throat. "Guys."

"Right." I nodded towards Cas. "He's not supposed to be dead. I need your help getting him back to the real world."

Bobby looked at Cas. "And what happened to you?"

Cas pursed his lips and glanced at me, his eyes not meeting mine. "I wasn't going to let him die alone. I promised him a long time ago that I'd go with him."

Bobby narrowed his eyes at Cas, stepping closer. "And why, exactly, did you care?"

He straightened his back and squared his shoulders, looking Bobby straight in the eyes. "Because I love him."

Bobby grinned and pulled Cas into a hug. "That's all I wanted to hear." He clapped Cas on the back, making him stumble forwards a little. "Lord knows the idjit needs you in his life."

"Hey!" I protested. Cas smiled shyly at me, and I laughed in response, hugging him close. "I need to find a way to get him back home, Bobby. I love him too much to let him throw his life away for me."

"In that case, we'd better get looking."

***

It seemed like years before I closed my eyes. One moment, I was reading up about breaking the laws of Heaven, the next, I woke up in bed next to Cas.

His head was resting on my chest, a soft smile on his face. I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his hair as I thought about losing him again.

But it wouldn't be forever. He would be able to live out his time on Earth, and then he'd be able to come home when it was his time.

I knew that he would never leave me on his own accords, so I'd have to convince him to go. My heart clenched as he mumbled something in his sleep, his hand curling into a fist around the t-shirt on my chest. I held him tighter as I thought about what it would take to get him to voluntarily leave.

The only idea my brain could come up with was if I told him that I didn't love him anymore... But that would hurt me too much to pretend.

On the other hand, it could mean that Cas would be safe. Or, it would mean that he wouldn't be able to return to this Heaven. It might mean that I'd for sure never see him again.

It wasn't until Cas whimpered in his sleep that I noticed how tight my grip on him had gotten. I loosened my hold as I committed everything about him to memory.

How his lips curled up every time he said a word that began with the letter "H," the tiny freckle that hid in his left ear, the way his smile always brought one to my own lips, his contagious laughter that somehow managed to make every bad day better.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead as I settled back into the pillows, my eyelids drooping again. If this time in Heaven really was going to be the last time I'd ever see Cas, I was going to make the best of it.